 Petra walked down the street and came to a crossroad. She had to choose – left or right? She had already been through hell in her life. The wrong road would only make her suffer more.
Her heart said right and her thinking mind said left. She decided to go right. After all she had been training her soul intelligence to find its way towards self management and she was beginning to see some success through the otherwise closed blinds of her life. Reminiscing to only a few months before when she craved an answer that would yield rapid results. She saw an ad on Facebook that called out to her. The language called out to her. It said Practitioner, a word that had been playing on her mind.
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NLP and Mental Health I was chatting with a friend from Brisbane, who had called to find out how I was when I first heard the term ‘Covid fatigue’. He explained that it was about the physical and mental state of being on constant guard, since the start of 2020 when the pandemic broke out.  The meaning of NLP is simple. It is an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. How do you know that you
like something or dislike something? How do you know that something like a bill you have paid is in the past or an unpaid bill is something in the future? Neuro linguistic programming is a jigsaw puzzle of your mind. It teaches you where information is stored and how to retrieve it easily. It also contains the methodology of eradicating negativity fast and permanently… In one of my earlier blogs “What is NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)?” I defined NLP as an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. Many people ask “is it beneficial to learn NLP?” As human beings we think and feel then apply language to our actions. These produce results in our lives whether in our career or family contexts. So just imagine if you knew how to change your thoughts and feelings? And if you had language models to influence others? Wouldn’t these produce amazing results in your life? Well this is what NLP Training does. I teach you models that produce accelerated outcomes, ones that high performers use to achieve outstanding performance. And why wouldn’t it? After all NLP was created by two geniuses in the late 70’s. Co-founded by a Professor of Linguistics, Dr. John Grinder and a computer scientist, Richard Bandler, I had the pleasure of meeting them both on many occasions. I wanted to learn NLP from the masters themselves! So you may be wondering what NLP stands for? Neuro We process our experience through the five senses – what we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. Our filtering through values and beliefs for instance differs from one person to another. We capture and store these experiences. Linguistic We then assign our own meaning to the data we have received and apply verbal and non-verbal language to what we have captured above in the five senses. Programming Our unconscious mind works in patterns which we call habits – good and bad. We are programmed emotionally from young. We are able to change/break these patterns and install new ones that produce better results. NLP consists of more than 100 processes, each one for a specific problem. It caters to every type of issue found in a person’s life. Whether it is resolving team conflict, deepening rapport with friends, managing a state of mind to achieve personal goals or understanding how values drive motivation, there is a process for it. The first level of an NLP course that is certified, is the NLP Practitioner program. It starts off by helping to shift mindsets and work with context rather than content. This migration to resolve issues out of the content of an experience creates accelerated results. We do not need to ask WHY, WHO, WHAT, WHEN or WHERE an experience occurred. For example, if you know the language of influence and use its structure to negotiate a sale or engage your child in a conversation, just imagine the stress you could o oad at the workplace or home. When an organisation views NLP training as an investment it is an awesome step in re-directing the mindset of employees towards the corporate mission. This leads to clearer and transparent communication which harnesses engagement and ultimately higher bottom line results. It is worth every dollar spent for everyone in the organisation tolearn NLP. Which corporate wouldn’t want such a return on investment? I have seen successful companies get their money’s worth signing up for an NLP course in the following ways: They invest in upgrading employee skills during downtime, prepared to hit the ground running when good times come around again. It is highly recommended that the NLP program be rolled out over several months to allow employees time to assimilate knowledge learnt and integrate application in small chunks. They launch a corporate wide NLP course to create a common language that opens up communication and transparency. Here are three major reasons why an NLP program is worth much more than the corporate’s initial investment:
I find that this has its advantages too, allowing participants to learn through different styles by engaging in all their five senses. There are myriad reasons why an NLP training is well worth the time and money invested in it. With such a range of processes at your disposal there will always be a solution for any problem in your organisation. An organisation is only as good as its people. Take care of the people and the rest will fall in place. Knowing that NLP training is an effective way to empower people in your organisation to solve problems and perform at their optimum level, doesn’t it make sense to pave the way for them?  Richard’s spousal relationship made a significant turnaround fast. He was shocked at the rapid changes both he and his wife experienced. Overnight they were both on a different level. It was a miracle!
But then again was it? In the back of his mind his NLP coach Sandy’s voice rang loud and clear. She had said that as he hit session 3 or so, he would begin to see phenomenal changes. His internal radar was re-orientating. He didn’t quite understand what that meant specifically as he had never experienced immediate change before. As he learnt more about NLP he was beginning to gain some semblance of deeper understanding as to how the unconscious mind worked. NLP worked completely with the unconscious mind, by-passing conscious filters which is how change happened fast. In layman’s terms when Richard cleared anger that he had harboured for years, he changed some pictures, sounds and feelings of the event that had caused him to be angry. He did not have to discuss why he felt that way or intervene with conscious thought. It was such an easy, meditative process called Timeline Intervention. Contrary to what he had heard in the past this did not require a diagnosis or judgment of any sort. He merely knew he had anger – not why, how, when, where? Then cleared it through Sandy’s expertise in facilitating the NLP process. It made sense to do it this way. For years he had steered away from “therapy” never wanting to talk about his anger. If only he knew that NLP did not require him to do so. No wonder Sandy called it Rapid Success Coaching! It was starting to make so much sense now. There were processes for every type of life situation – conflict resolution, rapport building and more. He thought this would prove beneficial to his team as well. His relationships there could improve significantly too. In fact he would bring Sandy in to do some ground work with the team while he did some of her online classes and upskilled himself. She had designed these courses specifically for people to live from Purpose and taught these very processes that he experienced as a client. “Create Your Future Now” was about eradicating past negativity and designing a purposeful future. He knew that working with “context, process and structure” was an art, he wanted to learn. “Content” of life was slow and noisy. Stepping out of it with artful questioning and influential language was the way to go. Plus if he could help his team change the 5 senses in experiences that were the blockage, their perspectives would improve for the better. It was like doing a software update for your computer. NLP was becoming more commonplace in corporates, where tools were applied to leadership, coaching and culture alignment. Leaders were more open to engaging coaches and trainers as a means to improve career growth and manage themselves efficiently. It’s funny how this was more evident now than ever for Richard. He had taken the blinkers off and realised that many colleagues had hired coaches. Anything to make things happen and achieve the goals they set for themselves. There was one philosophy in particular overarching NLP technology that stuck in his mind. It read “if I can change my mind, I can change my performance. So when I change my performance, I change my results.” The tools to change his mind were in the NLP toolbox and if he had his way he would have liked to add the word “FAST”. He had re-programmed his thought patterns, the habits he had formed from young. These emotional thought patterns had affected his mental health all through his adult life. Now that he was free he could imagine what his team and company would be like if everyone was on the same level playing field. Speaking the same language, they would be producing superior results without trying. NLP being an accelerated learning model fit perfectly into the mindset of a high performer or a progressive employee, anyone who wanted to spike their career path fast. It was like unknotting a rope within. Exactly what Richard had experienced once he unknotted himself. He saw different perspectives and felt totally refreshed! A new way of operating was available. He just had to choose it. Many described NLP as magic. He now knew why!  Nervousness is the body’s way of responding to stress. It is nature’s way of sending a signal to the body, to prepare for an imagined threat. A little bit of stress can be good. This is called good stress. It keeps us on our toes and heightens awareness. But too much stress leads to nervousness and having this occur frequently, does impede functioning. So, it’s good to learn tools that manage stress levels and teach us how to stop feeling nervous. Nervousness can be brought about in a variety of stressful situations:
These are but some examples. Even children are not spared. Nervousness is rampant on the first day of school, parents included. A common trigger is upcoming exams and the thought of making friends, especially for introverted people. So it isn’t surprising when people seek out remedies of how to stop feeling nervous at one point or other in life. A worthy point to note is that sometimes we can mistake excitement for nervousness. For example, when you’re about to step on stage to receive an award. It is natural to feel excited but the sudden increase in adrenaline causes a rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms and butterflies in the tummy, which feel a lot like nervousness. Years ago I conducted an NLP for self-confidence course to a group of head teachers and head mistresses of a large Government pre-school. Within two half days their level of confidence shot through the roof. It was a matter of using the excitement they felt for self-confidence. Just like we re-cycle things physically, we are also able to do the same with states of mind. A short process is all it takes!  Although we stop being nervous once the stressful situation is over, it’s an uncomfortable feeling while it lasts. The good news is, we can learn how to stop feeling nervous and overcome the drama associated with it. This will certainly lead to greater confidence and improved performance. Equipping yourself with NLP for mental health is a great way to manage stress and nervousness. The following are some techniques to try for fit and assess what works best. De Stress Tools Be mindful of your breathing. When you’re nervous the tendency is to breathe from the chest. That’s shallow breathing which does not give you enough oxygen. Breathe deeply from the belly. This calms you down immediately. Find a meditation you like and practise it daily. It doesn’t have to be long. Just the act of sitting down and focusing on your breath for a few minutes is a good start. Spend time in nature. Even a park with some greenery is good enough if you’re in the city. Take a walk outdoors. It clears your head and lightens your mood. And it’s a real treat when the skies are blue. Rehearse Build confidence by rehearsing, what you need to do as many times as possible. In NLP terms you are acquainting and familiarising your unconscious mind with what is to come. In my life as an NLP Trainer, I almost always set up the training room the night before. This allows me to conduct training the next day feeling relaxed and the best outcomes are achieved. If you are new to the stage and you have to make a speech or do a presentation, practise in front of a mirror. With anything, the more you practise the more skilled you become. If you find that this is your weakness, an NLP for self-confidence course is a great way to learn more such tools.  Stop The Self-Talk Observe your internal dialogue when you get nervous. Are you saying to yourself things like:
Break this cycle of negative self-talk. This is part of how to stop feeling nervous as your thoughts are crucial in this process. Instead tell yourself:
Take Charge Using tools shared in NLP for mental health can help you take charge and actively reduce this feeling of nervousness. Some tips to take charge are: Eat a balanced diet. You are less nervous when you feel good and physical health has a big part to play in this. Limit consumption of alcohol, drugs and caffeine. These substances impact mental well-being. Get enough sleep. Statistics reveal sleep deprivation increases nervousness as the body craves relaxation. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous now and then when we’re faced with a stressful situation. Unless you’re a hermit on a mountain top, there is no escape. It is part and parcel of the competitive world we live in. Some adrenaline is fine if it helps improve performance but if you are exposed to too much, this can be detrimental. Whatever you practise becomes easier to call upon when you’re feeling nervous, for example, when you train yourself to breathe deeply during normal times, you’ll be more mindful to do so when you’re nervous.  How to stop feeling nervous depends on how you view the situation and what you tell yourself. Knowing this, gives you more control over the situation as all behaviour change is a matter of raising awareness and then changing your thought patterns.
Mastering the de-stress tools and techniques above plus attending an NLP for self-confidence course, will certainly catapult you to a different realm. Even picking up tips from an NLP for mental health book could give you tips to start you on the journey to a new life, where nervousness becomes a thing of the past. Sylvia Fernandes is the Founder & CEO of VIA Frontiers. She is a Master Trainer of NLP who is specialised in corporate applications. She started her business in Sydney in 2002 and has been operating in the Asia Pacific Region ever since. She is currently based in Singapore. She is also the author of Bye Bye Black Cat -- Turn Your Luck Around and Realise Opportunities. Visit VIA Frontiers for more information. |
SYLVIA FERNANDES
Sylvia is a qualified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Trainer. She started her business in Sydney and is now based in Singapore. Archives
February 2025
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