 Petra walked down the street and came to a crossroad. She had to choose – left or right? She had already been through hell in her life. The wrong road would only make her suffer more.
Her heart said right and her thinking mind said left. She decided to go right. After all she had been training her soul intelligence to find its way towards self management and she was beginning to see some success through the otherwise closed blinds of her life. Reminiscing to only a few months before when she craved an answer that would yield rapid results. She saw an ad on Facebook that called out to her. The language called out to her. It said Practitioner, a word that had been playing on her mind.
0 Comments
 Richard’s spousal relationship made a significant turnaround fast. He was shocked at the rapid changes both he and his wife experienced. Overnight they were both on a different level. It was a miracle!
But then again was it? In the back of his mind his NLP coach Sandy’s voice rang loud and clear. She had said that as he hit session 3 or so, he would begin to see phenomenal changes. His internal radar was re-orientating. He didn’t quite understand what that meant specifically as he had never experienced immediate change before. As he learnt more about NLP he was beginning to gain some semblance of deeper understanding as to how the unconscious mind worked. NLP worked completely with the unconscious mind, by-passing conscious filters which is how change happened fast. In layman’s terms when Richard cleared anger that he had harboured for years, he changed some pictures, sounds and feelings of the event that had caused him to be angry. He did not have to discuss why he felt that way or intervene with conscious thought. It was such an easy, meditative process called Timeline Intervention. Contrary to what he had heard in the past this did not require a diagnosis or judgment of any sort. He merely knew he had anger – not why, how, when, where? Then cleared it through Sandy’s expertise in facilitating the NLP process. It made sense to do it this way. For years he had steered away from “therapy” never wanting to talk about his anger. If only he knew that NLP did not require him to do so. No wonder Sandy called it Rapid Success Coaching! It was starting to make so much sense now. There were processes for every type of life situation – conflict resolution, rapport building and more. He thought this would prove beneficial to his team as well. His relationships there could improve significantly too. In fact he would bring Sandy in to do some ground work with the team while he did some of her online classes and upskilled himself. She had designed these courses specifically for people to live from Purpose and taught these very processes that he experienced as a client. “Create Your Future Now” was about eradicating past negativity and designing a purposeful future. He knew that working with “context, process and structure” was an art, he wanted to learn. “Content” of life was slow and noisy. Stepping out of it with artful questioning and influential language was the way to go. Plus if he could help his team change the 5 senses in experiences that were the blockage, their perspectives would improve for the better. It was like doing a software update for your computer. NLP was becoming more commonplace in corporates, where tools were applied to leadership, coaching and culture alignment. Leaders were more open to engaging coaches and trainers as a means to improve career growth and manage themselves efficiently. It’s funny how this was more evident now than ever for Richard. He had taken the blinkers off and realised that many colleagues had hired coaches. Anything to make things happen and achieve the goals they set for themselves. There was one philosophy in particular overarching NLP technology that stuck in his mind. It read “if I can change my mind, I can change my performance. So when I change my performance, I change my results.” The tools to change his mind were in the NLP toolbox and if he had his way he would have liked to add the word “FAST”. He had re-programmed his thought patterns, the habits he had formed from young. These emotional thought patterns had affected his mental health all through his adult life. Now that he was free he could imagine what his team and company would be like if everyone was on the same level playing field. Speaking the same language, they would be producing superior results without trying. NLP being an accelerated learning model fit perfectly into the mindset of a high performer or a progressive employee, anyone who wanted to spike their career path fast. It was like unknotting a rope within. Exactly what Richard had experienced once he unknotted himself. He saw different perspectives and felt totally refreshed! A new way of operating was available. He just had to choose it. Many described NLP as magic. He now knew why!  Nervousness is the body’s way of responding to stress. It is nature’s way of sending a signal to the body, to prepare for an imagined threat. A little bit of stress can be good. This is called good stress. It keeps us on our toes and heightens awareness. But too much stress leads to nervousness and having this occur frequently, does impede functioning. So, it’s good to learn tools that manage stress levels and teach us how to stop feeling nervous. Nervousness can be brought about in a variety of stressful situations:
These are but some examples. Even children are not spared. Nervousness is rampant on the first day of school, parents included. A common trigger is upcoming exams and the thought of making friends, especially for introverted people. So it isn’t surprising when people seek out remedies of how to stop feeling nervous at one point or other in life. A worthy point to note is that sometimes we can mistake excitement for nervousness. For example, when you’re about to step on stage to receive an award. It is natural to feel excited but the sudden increase in adrenaline causes a rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms and butterflies in the tummy, which feel a lot like nervousness. Years ago I conducted an NLP for self-confidence course to a group of head teachers and head mistresses of a large Government pre-school. Within two half days their level of confidence shot through the roof. It was a matter of using the excitement they felt for self-confidence. Just like we re-cycle things physically, we are also able to do the same with states of mind. A short process is all it takes!  Although we stop being nervous once the stressful situation is over, it’s an uncomfortable feeling while it lasts. The good news is, we can learn how to stop feeling nervous and overcome the drama associated with it. This will certainly lead to greater confidence and improved performance. Equipping yourself with NLP for mental health is a great way to manage stress and nervousness. The following are some techniques to try for fit and assess what works best. De Stress Tools Be mindful of your breathing. When you’re nervous the tendency is to breathe from the chest. That’s shallow breathing which does not give you enough oxygen. Breathe deeply from the belly. This calms you down immediately. Find a meditation you like and practise it daily. It doesn’t have to be long. Just the act of sitting down and focusing on your breath for a few minutes is a good start. Spend time in nature. Even a park with some greenery is good enough if you’re in the city. Take a walk outdoors. It clears your head and lightens your mood. And it’s a real treat when the skies are blue. Rehearse Build confidence by rehearsing, what you need to do as many times as possible. In NLP terms you are acquainting and familiarising your unconscious mind with what is to come. In my life as an NLP Trainer, I almost always set up the training room the night before. This allows me to conduct training the next day feeling relaxed and the best outcomes are achieved. If you are new to the stage and you have to make a speech or do a presentation, practise in front of a mirror. With anything, the more you practise the more skilled you become. If you find that this is your weakness, an NLP for self-confidence course is a great way to learn more such tools.  Stop The Self-Talk Observe your internal dialogue when you get nervous. Are you saying to yourself things like:
Break this cycle of negative self-talk. This is part of how to stop feeling nervous as your thoughts are crucial in this process. Instead tell yourself:
Take Charge Using tools shared in NLP for mental health can help you take charge and actively reduce this feeling of nervousness. Some tips to take charge are: Eat a balanced diet. You are less nervous when you feel good and physical health has a big part to play in this. Limit consumption of alcohol, drugs and caffeine. These substances impact mental well-being. Get enough sleep. Statistics reveal sleep deprivation increases nervousness as the body craves relaxation. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous now and then when we’re faced with a stressful situation. Unless you’re a hermit on a mountain top, there is no escape. It is part and parcel of the competitive world we live in. Some adrenaline is fine if it helps improve performance but if you are exposed to too much, this can be detrimental. Whatever you practise becomes easier to call upon when you’re feeling nervous, for example, when you train yourself to breathe deeply during normal times, you’ll be more mindful to do so when you’re nervous.  How to stop feeling nervous depends on how you view the situation and what you tell yourself. Knowing this, gives you more control over the situation as all behaviour change is a matter of raising awareness and then changing your thought patterns.
Mastering the de-stress tools and techniques above plus attending an NLP for self-confidence course, will certainly catapult you to a different realm. Even picking up tips from an NLP for mental health book could give you tips to start you on the journey to a new life, where nervousness becomes a thing of the past. Sylvia Fernandes is the Founder & CEO of VIA Frontiers. She is a Master Trainer of NLP who is specialised in corporate applications. She started her business in Sydney in 2002 and has been operating in the Asia Pacific Region ever since. She is currently based in Singapore. She is also the author of Bye Bye Black Cat -- Turn Your Luck Around and Realise Opportunities. Visit VIA Frontiers for more information. |
SYLVIA FERNANDES
Sylvia is a qualified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Trainer. She started her business in Sydney and is now based in Singapore. Archives
January 2026
Categories |
RSS Feed
