​For Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioners such as myself, the Covid-19 Pandemic did us a humongous favour. It shone the spotlight on mental health, a subject seen as “nice to have” rather than a necessity. Escalated in importance overnight, as the Pandemic swept through the world with its witch’s broom, we realised globally that it wasn’t only our physical health that was under threat. 

Most people answer NO to this question and yet it is the driver that stores our thoughts, feelings and memories. The key point here is that like a hard drive on our computer, it processes everything that is outside our conscious awareness which significantly influences behavior.
 
The biggest domain of our unconscious mind is to protect us. In doing so, it represses memories and emotions so traumatic experiences don’t surface.
 
These are too painful or disturbing for the conscious mind to handle however repressing them does not mean they have been eradicated. In fact to the contrary, these unresolved emotions such as fear, anger, guilt and sadness are very much driving the individual.
 
This is why many people believe that they are born a certain way and have no control over their emotions. I often hear “oh this runs in our family”. But this is a myth.
 
You can change patterns of behaviour by understanding the unconscious mind, as all change occurs in the unconscious.  
 
So imagine if you could master through Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), the methodology to get rid of conditioned emotional and behavioral responses? How cool would that be?
 
For instance, breaking the pattern of flinching at the tonality of your boss because he resembles your father’s tonality, who you never got along with. Often people who have never delved into learning about their unconscious mind, are unaware of their behaviours.
 
Why do I like / dislike this person so much? Is it a matter of the look they have that reminds me of someone in my past? Instinctive reactions and intuitive judgments often arise from unconscious processing of information and past experiences like these.
 
This is how individuals can help themselves achieve more in life. Eradicating phobias and irrational fears which are rooted in unconscious memories and associations, leave them to create a life that they yearn for.
 
NLP has more than a hundred processes in its toolbox, each designed to attend to either removing past negativity and once done, to create a life that the individual desires.
 
This is where true transformation lies!

I am not sure if you have noticed but the number of books written on trust in the organization has risen. “Wanting it to go back to the good old days when employees’ welfare was taken into account?” My hand is raised.
 
As an entrepreneur and consultant today, I feel sustainability in senior positions rests on the laurels of people who are kind and considerate. Believing that everyone has contributed to the end outcome is valid.
 
A story that comes to mind. A close friend I visited recently in the U.S. related that when she invented / innovated good products for the organization, it was with the support of everyone in the team.
 
Hence their names appeared on the project success not just hers. She ensured that everyone along the way was acknowledged. This to me served her well for it encouraged the team to continue doing as much as they could to win yet another award.
 
What stops organizations from thinking this way then? Nothing but the ego of people involved. While it is great to have ego strength for purposes of pushing back in one’s self-defense, it is also imperative that ego is left behind.
 
Ego-driven leaders speak in the language of “me, myself, I”, obvious to the listener. Employees turn the other way from these types of leaders knowing they will not be rewarded or reinforced for their support.
 
One of the global trends today, is sustainability. Whatever we do it has to be workable in the long run, stable in process to produce good results over time. I urge leaders of organizations, families and teams to understand this simple strategy.
 
Step aside and let it not be about you. Trust will naturally install itself in the system and you will stand to gain the benefits of this.    

​My recent trip to Lisbon began at the check-in counter. Computer terminals were not working as a check-in staff hopped from one to another, hoping for better luck. Her frustration was mounting as she raced against time.
 
I was glad when she looked up and beckoned to me. Pushing my heavy-laden trolley forward, I began to step into her world. It was a bad start to her morning.
Speaking in a tone, rhythm and speed similar to her, I began to build rapport, a fundamental Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique.
 
This relaxed her. She felt I was familiar which gave her the focus she needed to get her job done fast. I was carrying 61kg of personal belongings for a friend who had just migrated from Singapore. For me, it was fundamentally about how I could get as much checked in as possible.
 
Giving her the silence that she needed intermittently, I slowly wove a story in to her unconscious mind, about my friend. I felt she had much in common as I realised she was single too. I knew she was intrigued as she asked more questions, engaging with me. Her curiosity led me to believe that she was in the same predicament. I had struck some empathy with her.
 
She looked at my trolley and asked “do you wish to check all those bags?” I frowned with a smile and said “yes” then left a block of silence. I gave her time to process.
 
She said “give me a minute” and hurried over to her manager. Nodding her head as she returned, she said “I’ll do it for you”. I couldn’t believe my ears. My heart thumped with excitement as all boxes were checked in seamlessly. She had acceded to my request. I wasn’t charged for the additional 21kg. 
 
She totally understood my desire to help a friend and the gates of rapport had opened within her, to help me. I had stepped into her shoes to realise that she too might want new possibilities someday.
 
Thinking back I reflected on what I had done. This is what came to mind;
 
LOOK FOR A CONNECTION

• I connected with her world by stepping into her shoes – she was single, desiring what my friend was seeking too.

 
MATCH TONALITY OF SPEECH

• Her unconscious mind relaxed when she felt a familiarity with me – this came from pacing her language.

 
USE NEGATIVES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

• Rather than say “You’ve had a difficult day” which would focus on tough experiences, I focused her mind on “easy”.

 
This is outcome-driven communication. You become targeted in approach. If you enjoyed this read, it is a sign that you are ready to learn more NLP techniques.