 As leadership becomes increasingly important in organizations, so does the need to recognize and nurture raw talent. After all skills can be developed over time but attitude requires a bit more, beginning with a “want to improve” desire.
Leadership today has also changed phenomenally from decades before. More than anything, resilience with a nimble focus is a necessity to chart uncertain waters. Hence, the journey to becoming an evolved leader involves personal and professional development with a high level of flexibility to embrace change. Today, organizations need to look for organic leaders who already have a deep understanding of culture and are showing clear signs of leadership potemtial. Recognizing new leaders for succession planning needs to emanate from managers who observe the following;
While organizations typically attribute a lot of emphasis to personality profiling for suitability of jobs, I personally believe this is stereotyping individuals. We are capable of a lot more than our innate personality affords, as long as we are flexible and adaptable and willing to do a new job. Pushing beyond the boundaries of our minds, we are able to do jobs that are not within our “favorite things to do” but in the list of “need to do”. Prime Ministers of countries were great leaders despite the fact that their personality profiles did not show natural leadership traits. There are leaders in your organization who are ready to progress to higher levels of stewardship. Harness their potential!
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 The most important trait a great leader needs to possess is the ability to make great decisions. How do they do this? By harnessing the power of their unconscious mind.
I have worked with leaders like this in the twenty plus years of teaching and coaching NLP techniques. Beyond good decision-making, they are able to tap into their creativity, emotional intelligence and therefore, overall effectiveness. This unique talent in making great decisions comes from their intuition. Once the gateway to intuition is opened, it flows in abundance, extremely helpful especially in high-pressure situations. As intuition is rooted in the unconscious mind, drawing from past experiences is natural and processing information rapidly, allows for swift, informed decisions. Great leaders are also deeply aware of self. Recognizing their emotional triggers and managing them effectively is a huge part of being effective. We can only change ourselves not others! What leaders are able to do with others though is have empathy. Understanding the emotions and motivations of others improves their ability to connect and communicate with others. Beyond these, a great leader needs to be strategic and create a long term vision. In touch with their unconscious mind, these leaders often have a clearer vision for the future. They can see beyond immediate challenges and stay focused on long-term goals. They are able to see and integrate building blocks of information into a cohesive whole, aiding in pulling pieces of the puzzle together towards good planning. Innovative solutions pop up as the ability to make connections between these pieces of the big picture, are a classic tenet of the unconscious mind. This is why great leaders need time alone. Time to contemplate their naval. Time to rest and relax. This may seem like wasted time but to the contrary, it is the time when great ideas come to the fore.  Recently, one of my students after the NLP Practitioner International Certification course, was raving to a close friend. “You should do this course. It’s so amazing”.
Her friend said “Oh no! I am not into that woohoo stuff!” Shocked at this corporate lady’s response, my student’s immediate thought was “How sad that something so human is seen as woohoo”. She left it at that. While most of society are aware they have a conscious mind that drives them, they think this is the only mind they possess. WRONG! The conscious and unconscious minds represent different levels of mental functioning, each with distinct characteristics in shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and experiences. They co-exist and an artful balance of both is required to reach genius. For a start, capacity is unlimited with the unconscious mind. It is able to process a much larger volume of information simultaneously. It handles automatic, routine tasks and complex information without requiring conscious effort. This is why people who have learnt how to work with their unconscious, process faster, are quick and efficient, enabling rapid responses and actions. Those who use their conscious mind require focus and attention to perform a task, as it can only handle a limited amount of information at any one time. Another major aspect of life is decision making. As many behaviors are influenced by implicit biases and intuition that reside in the unconscious, those who are aware of these make faster and better decisions. Others who require conscious reflection need time to deliberate which often means missing the boat. In my personal journey, my corporate experience taught me how to make logical, rational decisions. Going beyond, as I upskilled to become an NLP Trainer I learnt the art of flowing in balance with my conscious and unconscious minds. The biggest difference you might ask? Today I save a lot of energy. I KNOW. Decisions are easy. My defined personality makes it easy to live life out of the noise and in flow with my surroundings. A totally different way of being. Why wouldn’t you want it?  Recently, one of my students after the NLP Practitioner International Certification course, was raving to a close friend. “You should do this course. It’s so amazing”.
Her friend said “Oh no! I am not into that woohoo stuff!” Shocked at this corporate lady’s response, my student’s immediate thought was “How sad that something so human is seen as woohoo”. She left it at that. While most of society are aware they have a conscious mind that drives them, they think this is the only mind they possess. WRONG! The conscious and unconscious minds represent different levels of mental functioning, each with distinct characteristics in shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and experiences. They co-exist and an artful balance of both is required to reach genius. For a start, capacity is unlimited with the unconscious mind. It is able to process a much larger volume of information simultaneously. It handles automatic, routine tasks and complex information without requiring conscious effort. This is why people who have learnt how to work with their unconscious, process faster, are quick and efficient, enabling rapid responses and actions. Those who use their conscious mind require focus and attention to perform a task, as it can only handle a limited amount of information at any one time. Another major aspect of life is decision making. As many behaviors are influenced by implicit biases and intuition that reside in the unconscious, those who are aware of these make faster and better decisions. Others who require conscious reflection need time to deliberate which often means missing the boat. In my personal journey, my corporate experience taught me how to make logical, rational decisions. Going beyond, as I upskilled to become an NLP Trainer I learnt the art of flowing in balance with my conscious and unconscious minds. The biggest difference you might ask? Today I save a lot of energy. I KNOW. Decisions are easy. My defined personality makes it easy to live life out of the noise and in flow with my surroundings. A totally different way of being. Why wouldn’t you want it?  Most people answer NO to this question and yet it is the driver that stores our thoughts, feelings and memories. The key point here is that like a hard drive on our computer, it processes everything that is outside our conscious awareness which significantly influences behavior.
The biggest domain of our unconscious mind is to protect us. In doing so, it represses memories and emotions so traumatic experiences don’t surface. These are too painful or disturbing for the conscious mind to handle however repressing them does not mean they have been eradicated. In fact to the contrary, these unresolved emotions such as fear, anger, guilt and sadness are very much driving the individual. This is why many people believe that they are born a certain way and have no control over their emotions. I often hear “oh this runs in our family”. But this is a myth. You can change patterns of behaviour by understanding the unconscious mind, as all change occurs in the unconscious. So imagine if you could master through Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), the methodology to get rid of conditioned emotional and behavioral responses? How cool would that be? For instance, breaking the pattern of flinching at the tonality of your boss because he resembles your father’s tonality, who you never got along with. Often people who have never delved into learning about their unconscious mind, are unaware of their behaviours. Why do I like / dislike this person so much? Is it a matter of the look they have that reminds me of someone in my past? Instinctive reactions and intuitive judgments often arise from unconscious processing of information and past experiences like these. This is how individuals can help themselves achieve more in life. Eradicating phobias and irrational fears which are rooted in unconscious memories and associations, leave them to create a life that they yearn for. NLP has more than a hundred processes in its toolbox, each designed to attend to either removing past negativity and once done, to create a life that the individual desires. This is where true transformation lies!  “Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are but we are responsible for who we become” – Barbara Geraci
This quote signifies my motto in life. Since reinventing myself from a career banker to an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Trainer, I have taken charge of my life by learning about my unconscious mind and making it work for me. Tapping into my unconscious mind was not a deliberate strategy on my part. Life just took me towards a path of personal growth. I first joined courses that were based on conscious mind strategies. Important to get the ball rolling and then go beyond to the more powerful mind. The unconscious mind influences our behaviors, decisions and abilities but most often since people are unaware of this way of being, operate below what they could achieve. My unconscious mind which helped me access hidden thoughts, feelings, and motivations was a new world. I embarked on meditation practices initially through guided imagery, learning about the visuals I was creating in my mind. Then went on to 10 day Vipassana meditation retreats to understand myself better. While accessing deeper realms of my mind, I began to become aware of my dreams, many of which were messages about my future Life’s Path. One thing led to another. I was drawn to dance and art, expressions of my creative brain, exploring and harnessing the potential of my unconscious mind. I loved every moment of these new parts of ME. Yoga became part of my weekly practice and out of curiosity, I attended classes on Tarot Reading, Astrology, Palmistry and more. I felt a calling to learn and eventually my Path settled on NLP. Having found my calling, I soared to high performance without trying. I loved what I did. I had become a facilitator of change, pulling all of my vast experience together from my beginnings in corporate. My heart sang in doing this work even though it was long hours of consulting, working with clients to get the desired outcomes. Today, I urge everyone to attend whatever makes your heart sing. Become the person you want to be by upskilling your talents and moving towards your strengths. Allow yourself this bandwidth to find meaning in your life. High performance will just follow!  As a trained Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) consultant, my mind is leaps and bounds ahead of the ordinary man who walks on the street, unaware of the way he operates. What distinguishes me from the masses? My level of acute self-awareness.
Freud developed theories about the unconscious mind. He postulated that behaviour is influenced by thoughts, memories and desires, outside a person’s conscious awareness. Exactly like a computer program, the unconscious mind runs based on patterns from data that I have uploaded into my CPU. Daily experiences good and bad are absorbed through a process of osmosis. I see, hear, feel, taste and smell through my day, adding to my library of events already in my memory. When not organized or when negative memories are accepted without consideration, these begin to pose problems for the person. For instance, as an adult I now know to reject anything that does not represent who I am. If I am asked to do a certain behaviour, I have the choice to do it or not. If they don’t align with my values I walk away. If they resonate, I embrace. This is how I choose friends. How would you pick people to walk alongside you in life, if you didn’t know who you were. My decisions and responses are driven by my underlying thoughts and emotions. Most people are unaware that there is a structure to the unconscious mind and all it takes is the desire to learn it. While many modalities are available today, the genius NLP model created by Grinder and Bandler in the late 70’s far surpass others. Why you might ask? Because NLP like a computer, has form and structure, easily learnt through process. Adding A, B and C together results in a specific outcome. It’s easy to learn, isn’t exclusive to people who have fancy education rather is biased towards those who are already in touch with their emotional self. Profound results are at the end of the road. Accelerated results a definite! In this fast paced world, two tenets of life that breed success. The unconscious mind, so fascinating a subject for all who want to be ahead of the game!  I was told the other day by a friend that life is just as good without goals. Most people who set goals are focused on what they want specifically. Those who say they don’t, could perhaps have a big picture idea of where they would like to be by a certain age.
As a specialist of the unconscious mind, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) provides tools for setting and achieving goals. What are we doing exactly? We are focusing the unconscious mind on what we want, represented in language of the five senses. Individuals who do not set goals are not the masters of their destiny! The unconscious mind is obedient. It waits for instructions. If you know what you want, you are then able to create this in the five senses specifically. This is but the tip of the iceberg in commanding your unconscious mind to go out and get it. The weaker conscious mind merely takes steps in line with this goal that has been set. So, this dance between the conscious and unconscious minds is an art. Learning how to do this for better results is the way to go. Attending an NLP Practitioner Program leaves participants with the full array of pieces in the puzzle, of how to live life fully. More than anything, finding an individual’s Life Path is of prime significance. By helping individuals clarify their objectives and create effective strategies for their lives, individuals can over time, continually apply NLP techniques to set new goals, overcome obstacles, staying focused on their personal and professional aspirations. This is the way to do life easily. Eradicating internal conflict, an individual feels freedom in making swift, good decisions, the most basic life skill that is missing in many. Caught up in Life’s whirlwind as events happen quickly today, individuals are finding it harder to cope. Another reason why thinking different has become imperative! Think about it. If you had a clear mindset with tools to solve any problem and propel you towards your goals, wouldn’t that be awesome? I took that step more than twenty years ago and have never looked back. Do life the easy way and you will know what loving the life you lead, means. Elevating mental health and producing fabulous results in the end will leave you a happy and content individual. Goal setting will happen so automatically, you will learn how to do it the way your unconscious mind understands.  Observing successful individuals climb the corporate ladder in a short space of time requires strong communication skills. In this order, every individual would do themselves justice if they did the following;
Understand your Personality Preferences We are born with preferences. As a trained Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator (MBTI) facilitator, I know the importance of this especially for leaders, when setting up their teams. A senior leadership team without diverse personality types is in grave danger for they see things the same way, rather than attend to the objections of someone with opposite preferences. Transform Yourself by Letting Go of the Past Unbeknownst to many, we are driven by our past programming. If we don’t eradicate old limiting beliefs that serve us in today’s context, we are doomed. Attending a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) workshop would address this. It is the only personal development modality that transforms individuals at the training they attend as learning is through the five senses. Bypassing conscious mind filters, the unconscious mind is easily accessed. Focus Your Unconscious Mind on the Future Values are our deepest unconscious filter. Not knowing how to elicit them leaves individuals powerless. The greatest asset a decision maker could have is to understand their values and align them with a future path. This is where a Vision forms and building blocks fall in place for success. It is the pathway to intuition which is the greatest asset individuals possess but are not using. Most don’t know how to. Learning with structure and process so that success is easily replicable, is one of the deepest tenets of sustainable success. The answer lies in attending an NLP Practitioner Program which equips individuals with a powerful jigsaw puzzle for life. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) skills are incredibly versatile and are applied in various aspects of life for long-term personal and professional development. Using these life skills, individuals go from strength to strength, operating from resilience and adaptability. Wouldn’t everyone want this?  The world we live in today requires problem solving skills more than ever. Nothing is static or predictable. In fact quite the opposite. Our landscape is changing, fast!
How does one migrate from an operational mindset as managers have, to one of being solution-focused? It is not possible via the conscious mind. I would turn blue telling someone to do a task better. This is because all personal change occurs through the unconscious mind. While it sounds abstract, it is the exact opposite. Working through our senses – what we see, hear and feel, we are able to edit memories captured in a way that does not produce powerful results. In a nutshell re-writing personal history is possible when you are trained in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). A genius model filled with process and structure, individuals transform to higher self-worth in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Ordinary people become extraordinary! Operational minds are transformed to entrepreneurial minds. Possibilities are enormous and individuals begin to get a taste of success without help from authority figures. NLP encourages this independent mindset and provides methods for effective problem-solving. Over time, individuals with NLP skills operate with openness and transparency, they become highly sought after. Consistently approaching challenges with creativity, flexibility and a resourceful mindset, they seek mentors and become available to mentor as well. The learning bug captures their attention which takes them to a higher level of performance and success in the organisation. All it takes is attending an NLP Practitioner Program that gives individuals tools to access their unconscious mind. Problems are not seen as problems. Challenges are taken on easily as answers that reside in the unconscious, are available in a format and structure, easy to access. Why do individuals take time to attend this type of profound Program? Because they are not ready to take on the challenge of a new life that awaits. Those “called” to this have either had enough with bad results or know there is something better they are yet to find. Either way, it is a Program that helps people move to a deeper dimension of SELF and IDENTITY that presents the source of all success. For when we know who we are, we have found our Path.  Many cerebral people I know focus on so-called “smart” people, those who are able to whip out statistics, shedding light on situations. Move the conversation beyond to relationships and they are lost.
Yet for the last twenty plus years of consulting and facilitating, I have found the most successful leaders have amazing communication skills, way beyond their IQ sense of logic, facts and figures. It represents the focus that families have when bringing up their children. Those who stress an all-rounded life from young become the winners, for they populate young minds with all parts of the child’s neurology, allowing for access to creativity and lateral thinking. I grew up in the latter-type family and I have my father to thank. While he was a strict disciplinarian (one look from him meant a lot), we also had fantastic holidays as soon as school closed. There was fun and laughter, worthy conversations and an openness to relationships. I recall a discussion about divorce that a close friend was going through. My father said it could happen to anyone for who knows what circumstances are hurled at you. No judgment just compassion is what people needed. These I know today are words of wisdom. Having empathy and building a connection with others, serves to build and maintain healthy relationships. This becomes the foundation for success in all areas of life. As an NLP Trainer today, I assist individuals and organisations to harness their strength towards making better decisions. First step is to always learn how to build rapport then foster effective communication by resolving conflict and promoting mutual understanding. These skills allow for collaboration within families, departments and pull together to reinforce successful outcomes. I see competitive mindsets that scream “Me, myself, I” in many instances. This does not augur well for results as a whole. NLP helps individuals understand communication styles which begins the journey of understanding the psychology of how people tick. People who learn this have an upper hand in negotiating results that they want. Wouldn’t it be useful if you had this?  I stumbled across my Life Path’s journey unknowingly. My heart raced as I heard my friend Geraldine’s voice filled with excitement and emotion. She was happy. I felt it. It would be good to have some of what she had too” I thought at the time.
She had just completed a personal growth program. Needless to say I was roped in to experience this and others, some of which I loved. Others that did not resonate, I left behind. Beginning with the basics, I was a tough nut to crack. I had a strong mind, trained ferociously by my corporate experience as a banker. While it was a great foundation to operate from, it also didn’t allow for growth in the emotional and spiritual realms. There were expectations to be a certain way, operate from logic, casting aside my true self. The Rolls Royce of personal growth programs came last. I was introduced to Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) by my friend John who was a Practitioner from twenty years before. The biggest draw for me was that the entire NLP model comprised techniques for self-discovery with an extremely deep structure. I loved how it drew on process and context rather than content. Exploring and understanding values, beliefs and behaviors I was able to disband with emotional blockages which surfaced in the form of beliefs I held from my upbringing. Little did I know that they were family beliefs that did not augur well for my current life. By clearing these and creating new, more effective beliefs, I supported my continuous growth. I could leave alone, the “content” of how these beliefs were installed. Private incidences could be left private. I did not need the who, where and when to make or facilitate change. Very accelerated in achieving results through increased emotional intelligence I found I understood and managed myself effectively. Empathy levels escalated and my ability to navigate complex social situations heightened. Being a person who loved change, I took to NLP like a duck to water. Working through certification as an NLP Trainer, I jumped to the other side and became a facilitator. Traveling across boundaries physical and emotional, to find clients who needed to make change. Today, I realise I found my Life Path through my personal growth journey. What do I have today that I did not have before? A life filled with Purpose and Passion. Did I think about personal growth in this way? A definite NO. In essence, my heart sang and pulled me towards my Life’s calling! I urge you on this path too. If you feel there is something greater out there for you, scour the personal growth arena for anything that calls out to you. NLP skills provide a foundation for lifelong learning and personal evolution. Individuals are able to navigate the complexities of life with confidence, resilience, and a positive mindset. The adaptability and universality of NLP make it a valuable asset for long-term personal and professional success. If you would like to experience some of what I did, decide on a Path and begin the Journey.  A typical statement isn’t it?
On meeting participants at my Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) trainings, I address exactly this. “Most of you have been sent to this Program and you don’t really want to be here. You have so much to do at your desk and you feel this is a waste of time” I say. Asking for a show of hands, I am deliberately eliciting engagement with my audience. By doing this, I am beginning to gain rapport with them. As a Trainer I step into their world to understand and empathize where they are. My focus is to eventually bring them closer to my day’s objective. Beyond that conversation which extroverts typically begin, it is my job as the presenter of the day, to engage introverts, the remaining audience, who take a longer time to warm up. These are some power presenting tools that successful trainers hold. As a Transformation Specialist one of my success beliefs is to make the time spent worthwhile, for my audience. Taking trainees deep into the workings of their unconscious mind, I emphasize flexibility and the ability to adapt to change. NLP skills in broadbrush strokes, helps people navigate through life’s changes whether in career, relationships or on the personal front, with resilience and a positive mindset. A situation I encountered many years ago when a gentlemen about to retire, exclaimed the exact title of this article. I could see the difficulty he was having just being there. Approaching him, I promised that he would be thankful by the end of the Program as this was not just another training. He confirmed this at the end and exclaimed he had learnt so much on how to communicate with his son. I encouraged him to learn more as ongoing learning would lead to mastery especially when advanced NLP techniques were explored. Engaging in continuous self-improvement could only lead to better outcomes in whatever aspect of life. He promised he would do so. Just one 2-day Program made a huge difference to this man’s life. He saw situations differently and had the tools to rectify / solve problems. Wouldn’t you want to be in his shoes? Don’t wait for life to take you to a dead end. Begin your self-exploration journey today.  “Don’t think of a pink elephant!” was my instruction to the audience in front of me, as I began teaching the language segment of my class. They burst out laughing. I knew they had done just the opposite. Most of them had a visual of pink elephants in their head. I had captured their attention.
Carrying on, I explained that the unconscious mind could not process negatives. Words like don’t, can’t, won’t and so on, were deleted internally because the unconscious mind processes through the five senses. What we see, hear, feel, taste and smell in our daily experience is stored this way. Having trained people from all walks of life to understand how they operate, I am super alert to language used around me. Let me share a recent example that occurred a few weeks ago. I lawn bowl in my free time. As the National tournaments commenced I was pitched against an 11 year old in one of my matches. She was a first timer so I knew the pressure of bowling in a competition of adults, would be mounting within her though she was adamant she would be ok. Halfway through our match she burst into tears sobbing at the edge of the Green. I waited patiently while her mum and coach began to get her out of this negative state. I heard negative language like “stop crying” which made me cringe. They were focusing her on crying and so obviously, she carried on. I couldn’t intervene (as with most times when I observe people using negative language) since I was her opponent. I hear parents speak to their children so much in this way not knowing they are installing exactly what they do not want. It’s more effective to say it the way you want it; - “focus on the game” - “you have already won the first set” - “the game can turn from one second to another” A simple awakening to a small aspect of language has the potential to change your life. Responses will begin to emerge as positive and you are far closer to the outcome that you desire. Try it and observe. These are simple processes in the Neuro Linguistic Programming toolbox that can change your life around immediately.  My recent trip to Lisbon began at the check-in counter. Computer terminals were not working as a check-in staff hopped from one to another, hoping for better luck. Her frustration was mounting as she raced against time.
I was glad when she looked up and beckoned to me. Pushing my heavy-laden trolley forward, I began to step into her world. It was a bad start to her morning. Speaking in a tone, rhythm and speed similar to her, I began to build rapport, a fundamental Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique. This relaxed her. She felt I was familiar which gave her the focus she needed to get her job done fast. I was carrying 61kg of personal belongings for a friend who had just migrated from Singapore. For me, it was fundamentally about how I could get as much checked in as possible. Giving her the silence that she needed intermittently, I slowly wove a story in to her unconscious mind, about my friend. I felt she had much in common as I realised she was single too. I knew she was intrigued as she asked more questions, engaging with me. Her curiosity led me to believe that she was in the same predicament. I had struck some empathy with her. She looked at my trolley and asked “do you wish to check all those bags?” I frowned with a smile and said “yes” then left a block of silence. I gave her time to process. She said “give me a minute” and hurried over to her manager. Nodding her head as she returned, she said “I’ll do it for you”. I couldn’t believe my ears. My heart thumped with excitement as all boxes were checked in seamlessly. She had acceded to my request. I wasn’t charged for the additional 21kg. She totally understood my desire to help a friend and the gates of rapport had opened within her, to help me. I had stepped into her shoes to realise that she too might want new possibilities someday. Thinking back I reflected on what I had done. This is what came to mind; LOOK FOR A CONNECTION
MATCH TONALITY OF SPEECH
USE NEGATIVES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
This is outcome-driven communication. You become targeted in approach. If you enjoyed this read, it is a sign that you are ready to learn more NLP techniques.  The person with the greatest behavioral flexibility will often take control. One of a myriad of success beliefs that Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioners live their lives by.
Problems occur when people uphold a mindset of rigidity. My way or the highway does not augur well for resolutions or negotiations to a strong positive outcome. So I guess the question is what keeps people rigid? Is it the authoritarian in them or the fear to traverse new boundaries? Either way it reflects on the person. Employees in organisations who make great progress up the career ladder are flexible in their approach. That is why they are earmarked beyond their colleagues. What are some points that might reveal these types of people? • A willingness to learn • Positive approach to being coached • Volunteer to do new projects • Open communication style Why are these the tenets to success? Because as employees climb the career ladder they become responsible for teams. There is a need to understand makeup of the workforce and diversity that peoples’ behaviors bring. At this point behaviour becomes business. Leaders who understand behaviour, know how to coach them to success. They become the winners. Employees emerge self-driven and motivated. No need for a manager to “manage”! Flexible leaders attract people to them. Employees want to work with such leaders. It works both ways. A relationship made in heaven, one that could make all the difference. Those who continue in rigidity fall away beneath the radar. They live a monotonous life in an automatic way of being. Unnecessary and sad as there is no shortage of courses and books, seminars on and offline to open one’s mind. For me, a turning point in my life was mastering NLP techniques. Working with the unconscious mind I learnt how to build rapport and engage people to success. Like bees to honey I enroll people in my life who join me on my Purposeful journey.  Our state of mind determines the outcomes we achieve. Most often I have people say “you are so lucky”. They do not realise that my focused state is what brings in the goods.
Observing what is happening in the world. We have gone to war as a choice rather than being forced to. It isn’t our only option. Leaders could call upon their people to step into a state of forgiveness and leave the past where it belongs, in the past. Instead we choose to mar our future with the same footprint, only to impact innocent people living their lives, some already in poverty. The younger generations will think like this. They strive for peace. Their higher emotional intelligence quotient drives them to focus on binding relationships and living in tandem with Mother Earth’s needs. Their state differs from generations before. Harboring anger is not in their DNA. Older generations need to learn this. Perhaps to think of some states of mind that could be useful:
So if we stepped into even one of these, our day would pan out vastly different to our past. How do we get to the point of creating a state that could impact our decisions and therefore our day? We merely access our memories of a time when we were in that past state, for instance forgiveness. “When did I forgive someone?” ask yourself and step into that feeling. What do you see and hear in that event? If it is a 8 out of 10 intensity, amp it up to maximum like turning a dial on the radio. This sends signals to our neurology to access this state of forgiveness powerfully. Anchor it somewhere so that this is available anytime anywhere you need it in the future. This is the start of learning how to create a state. Begin with a simple situation where you need to focus on a specific outcome. Create a state to resolve the situation and experience the outcome you desire. Once you get a win you will want more. Like a drug (only this is free), creating states will grow on you till you become a masterful state manager and life is deemed lucky.  He /she has to be an advocate for change, someone who is a natural communicator standing for messages to be sent down the line as frequently as possible. Engaging the workforce regularly through different channels while keeping in mind the makeup of his/her workforce.
When I conduct my training using NLP Communication Tools to create powerful cultures, I often ask my students what their culture looks like. Many reply control, authority and a focus on results. Where is the fun, care, learning and purposeful focus? Has leadership not realised they could achieve a lot more if they created an ambience for their employees to relax and feel comfortable? After all, when we are in our element, this is where intuition surfaces. Ideas come to us in our most relaxed moments. Aren’t we setting up cultures counter intuitive to what is needed for employees to do well and retain their mental health? Breaking down hierarchical boundaries for open & transparent communication that is problem-solving and solution-oriented in nature yields a positive culture. At the end of the day, everyone works for the same organisation so why not roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty altogether. With younger generations demanding flatter structures in organisations, the uncommunicative older style leader has to be weeded out of the system. Communication strategies which set the tone and direction for successful change has to be linked to organizational goals. When aligned it enhances organizational performance and influences energy levels, keeping everyone focused on goals and priorities while providing feedback on progress. This creates a powerful organisational culture! When these building blocks are in place, the rest flows. Employees feel they have a purpose. They have a sense of belonging and strive to high performance.  Research has proven that employee satisfaction contributes enormously to organizational success. Tech IT giants Google and Microsoft got this very early in the piece, securing talent easily with their flexible work hours and well-stocked pantries.
Today, employee engagement has become a priority metric to gauge as HR and Senior Leadership look for ways to keep a cohesive workforce together and satisfied. Taking this a step further, a big factor is employees knowing how their contribution connects to the organisations’ mission, vision and core values. Typically, KPI’s are “served” to employees without much discussion on how they were drawn up and the importance of the employee’s role. When carried out well, this gives rise to a deep sense of belonging which is the third level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. A powerful level as this is where people look to be loved and to belong to a team or community. Motivation, productivity and commitment follow in instances when employees feel this deep sense of connection. So how would an organisation make this happen? Creating an organisational culture that holds a strong brand is a brilliant way to start. Setting up a common language where conflicts are minimised, makes for a clear path to focus on the future. I recall a client who focused on just this. He knew that as I worked through levels in the company to help employees grow personally, he would benefit from this at the workplace too. A happy person at home is a happy person at work. When companies spend money to transform their people, employees feel recognised and are proud to be a brand ambassador for the company. This then extends externally to clients where the internal bedrock of stable, happy people shows clearly. All aspects of the company begin to benefit from retention, team work and of course high performance. Organisations are beginning to pick up the signal that creating a harmonious culture leads to these benefits. Stop Waiting for a Manager to Manage You. Start Managing Yourself to Create A Future You Love!2/4/2024  Petra walked down the street and came to a crossroad. She had to choose – left or right? She had already been through hell in her life. The wrong road would only make her suffer more. Her heart said right and her thinking mind said left. She decided to go right. After all she had been training her soul intelligence to find its way towards self management and she was beginning to see some success through the otherwise closed blinds of her life.
Reminiscing to only a few months before when she craved an answer that would yield rapid results. She saw an ad on Facebook that called out to her. The language called out to her. It said Practitioner, a word that had been playing on her mind. Petra felt a draw to coaching. Her heart was opening to the pain around her. She knew more people would need help to cross the bridge from certainty to an ever-changing landscape ahead of them. The words Rapid Success Coaching screamed out at her. This is what she would love to learn. Technology like this would help turnaround masses fast. Most individuals and organisations yearned for change in a short timeframe. When once she was a mere corporate lady doing her day-in day-out routines, she was now propelled towards a compelling future. At least she could see light at the end of the tunnel and that gave her vigour. To be guided by some purpose and have meaning in life! Wow what an opposing take on life from where she was before. She couldn’t wait. She had signed up for “Series A and B - Create Your Future Now” and was going all the way to be a Practitioner of NLP which was the foundation methodology of Rapid Success Coaching. This felt right. The course synopsis said she would eradicate blockages from her past that were very often stuck in the unconscious, unbeknownst to the individual. She pulled herself out of her daydream and thought it was only a few days before the course would start. She wanted to master NLP so she would be adept at meshing processes within the NLP toolbox to create more impactful results. Only then would she be ready to learn the Rapid Success Coaching technology that created rapid success. What Petra loved most was that individuals would learn self management tools that would help them live with self-confidence. Having spoken to a few past participants, who were animated and eloquent in explaining the internal unblocking they had experienced, she was convinced. The alarm went off. It was 8am on Saturday and she had two hours before Series A started. Excitedly she went through her morning rituals and set up her quiet space in the study so she could totally immerse herself for the next two hours. As expected she met course mates online, many of whom were on the same path searching for self management tools. Some were like her, interested in going all the way to master NLP and be certified as a practitioner. Many people in her generation were driven by purpose as they felt a need to change focus in the world. Capitalism at the expense of the poor had to be reversed stamping out greed, replaced by collaboration towards closing the wealth gap. Petra went through Series A and B, playing at 100%. She gained clarity which helped her call on friends to practice her coaching skills as the 7-day Practitioner course would follow in a few months. She experienced in herself and her clients, the rapid results and success that she had signed up for. She was on the path to installing purpose and meaning in her life. She couldn’t believe that just a few months ago she was stagnating in her job with no direction. She saw high performers in the company. They seemed to know the way. She wanted so badly to be like them and be purpose-driven. They loved their jobs and she longed to find her calling too. But how? It was with a huge breath of relief that she thanked the Divine for bringing that Facebook post to her attention. It seemed like when she searched she would find. She was on her way to creating a future she loved. Feeling lucky that it was even available online with minimal effort and disruption to her, she smiled to herself. Rapid Success Coaching here I come!  As Sandy moved along with her coaching business she realised the importance of collating data. From age, gender, marital status to career and many other dimensions that she felt would give her deeper insights into trends. Specialising in helping people in relationships break through mental blocks, she began to notice valuable gender related data that was beginning to show trends. She felt these patterns of behaviour would help her accelerate coaching results.
This was the birth of Rapid Success Coaching! Sandy began to garner her intuition and data mined trends. Men who signed up for coaching were few and far between. They usually turned up when their relationships were at the end of their tether. Much like her client Richard whose wife left and said she would never return unless he saw a coach. On arrival to her practice that first day, Sandy observed his physiology which was hunched. He did not make much eye contact. She felt he was like fish out of water. This would not have been his preference if he had a choice. The coaching room was set up deliberately to calm and relax clients. Soft hues of fabric draped the sofa and pastel-coloured cushions softened the space. It was indeed amazing to see Richard’s level of comfort escalate in a mere session. It wasn’t what he thought it would be. Sandy explained that she would not be giving him any advice, rather leave him to make his own choices once she had worked through processes with him. She used language that he liked and resonated with. As an engineer his lack of communication was merely a resultant of low understanding in the field of how the mind worked. Most of his thoughts were based on therapy in the past that he had seen family and friends succumb to. He did admit to Sandy in their first session that he was less expressive than his wife. She shared her feelings readily with him but even though he felt things, he found it hard to verbalise. He preferred to just think that the negative feelings would go away but they didn’t. Sandy immediately set up their next session to clear the anger and rage that stemmed from Richard’s past. It had resided in him for long enough and was choking his ability to express. After all, the mind and body were connected. Every thought became a feeling that impacted the body in a negative way. Like a clogged drain, that eventually blocks a pipe. For now it was just his throat that was blocked but over time if this continued, it could be the very cause of a heart attack. Richard listened with great intent. His annual health markers were starting to show up on the decline. Sandy was already hitting a nerve. As Sandy continued to calibrate all the issues Richard wanted to address during these sessions, she also noted that men had a strong ego that stemmed from competitiveness. This merely occurred because men found it hard to empathise. She had a process for that too. Sandy made a note to do that in another session. This would give Richard the bandwidth of emotions every human being is entitled to. Having a choice to operate from trust to control or empathy to authoritarianism, these were lovely options to have. In fact just thinking about it gave Richard a feeling of freedom as the band of emotions had widened. Sandy did explain that this would be a phenomenal result that many people in his circle of influence would notice and to be prepared for it. What a change that would make? To be complimented rather than put down. He had a reputation for blowing his handle at small things at work and of course this spilled over in his relationship. A big plus of Rapid Success Coaching is that Richard was being guided to his intuition, something that many men were trained not to do. The training he received as an engineer was to ensure that things had to make sense. Decisions from the head were king. Sometimes though heart decisions while not linear were right. Attracting exponential results they were the best decisions. It was a matter of trusting self and learn how to do this artfully. A total departure from how he operated today. He felt elated. He had found Sandy who was process-driven. She understood context and stayed out of his content, the privacy of his life. Needless to say Richard transformed himself in a matter of five coaching sessions. Having cleared his past he decided to sign up for an online Zoom course that focused on the future – Create Your Future Now. It was time to design a future that he loved and that included his spouse. His relationship was skidding down a slippery slope but he caught it in the nick of time and was now skiing to success. O what a feeling!  The meaning of NLP is simple. It is an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. How do you know that you
like something or dislike something? How do you know that something like a bill you have paid is in the past or an unpaid bill is something in the future? Neuro linguistic programming is a jigsaw puzzle of your mind. It teaches you where information is stored and how to retrieve it easily. It also contains the methodology of eradicating negativity fast and permanently… In one of my earlier blogs “What is NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)?” I defined NLP as an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. Many people ask “is it beneficial to learn NLP?” As human beings we think and feel then apply language to our actions. These produce results in our lives whether in our career or family contexts. So just imagine if you knew how to change your thoughts and feelings? And if you had language models to influence others? Wouldn’t these produce amazing results in your life? Well this is what NLP Training does. I teach you models that produce accelerated outcomes, ones that high performers use to achieve outstanding performance. And why wouldn’t it? After all NLP was created by two geniuses in the late 70’s. Co-founded by a Professor of Linguistics, Dr. John Grinder and a computer scientist, Richard Bandler, I had the pleasure of meeting them both on many occasions. I wanted to learn NLP from the masters themselves! So you may be wondering what NLP stands for? Neuro We process our experience through the five senses – what we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. Our filtering through values and beliefs for instance differs from one person to another. We capture and store these experiences. Linguistic We then assign our own meaning to the data we have received and apply verbal and non-verbal language to what we have captured above in the five senses. Programming Our unconscious mind works in patterns which we call habits – good and bad. We are programmed emotionally from young. We are able to change/break these patterns and install new ones that produce better results. NLP consists of more than 100 processes, each one for a specific problem. It caters to every type of issue found in a person’s life. Whether it is resolving team conflict, deepening rapport with friends, managing a state of mind to achieve personal goals or understanding how values drive motivation, there is a process for it. The first level of an NLP course that is certified, is the NLP Practitioner program. It starts off by helping to shift mindsets and work with context rather than content. This migration to resolve issues out of the content of an experience creates accelerated results. We do not need to ask WHY, WHO, WHAT, WHEN or WHERE an experience occurred. For example, if you know the language of influence and use its structure to negotiate a sale or engage your child in a conversation, just imagine the stress you could o oad at the workplace or home. When an organisation views NLP training as an investment it is an awesome step in re-directing the mindset of employees towards the corporate mission. This leads to clearer and transparent communication which harnesses engagement and ultimately higher bottom line results. It is worth every dollar spent for everyone in the organisation tolearn NLP. Which corporate wouldn’t want such a return on investment? I have seen successful companies get their money’s worth signing up for an NLP course in the following ways: They invest in upgrading employee skills during downtime, prepared to hit the ground running when good times come around again. It is highly recommended that the NLP program be rolled out over several months to allow employees time to assimilate knowledge learnt and integrate application in small chunks. They launch a corporate wide NLP course to create a common language that opens up communication and transparency. Here are three major reasons why an NLP program is worth much more than the corporate’s initial investment:
I find that this has its advantages too, allowing participants to learn through different styles by engaging in all their five senses. There are myriad reasons why an NLP training is well worth the time and money invested in it. With such a range of processes at your disposal there will always be a solution for any problem in your organisation. An organisation is only as good as its people. Take care of the people and the rest will fall in place. Knowing that NLP training is an effective way to empower people in your organisation to solve problems and perform at their optimum level, doesn’t it make sense to pave the way for them?  I lived in the banking world for 13 years and loved every minute of it. When I foundmy self-growth at a plateau I knew it was a sign to leave the industry. Transitioning through headhunting and IT consulting recruitment I started my own business in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), focusing on corporate applications.
From leadership to coaching, communication to sales, I worked in different organisations in the Asia Pacific Region helping companies align their teams for high performance. With that great bandwidth of knowledge and experience 18 years later, I knew that selling in pandemic times, required me to change how I sell and communicate with my clients. The VUCA world we live in today assumes volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity in our environment. Hence the first call was to operate with resilience, sell with flexibility and prepare for a challenge anytime. These are some thoughts I had about the mindset required to produce sales results with NLP today; The adventurer salesman who creates an infrastructure for selling from home in person and online will be the winner. The technologically-savvy salesman who knows where to find leads online and how to access them. A salesperson who has invested in “selling online” courses so they know how to engage their audience and create a win-win. The psychologically-savvy salesman who knows working with the unconscious mind gives them the edge that high performers have. Having trained and consulted 100% face-to-face since starting my business, I was one of many who had to make a right turn, to still be in the game. To start selling online required a totally new approach. I used the Covid lockdown time as reprieve to create and develop, to get back in the game. Assessing my products and services I asked myself “How could I start selling from home and selling online?” I needed new products. So I set out to re-invent my face-to-face courses as well as create new courses into the online space. To differentiate myself I showcased sales results with NLP that a client would derive. Selling in pandemic times required deep work through the unconscious mind to get rid of fears and anxiety the general population were feeling. Many salespeople carry the fear of speaking to senior people, cold calling, etc. It was about changing the way a sales person operates. I had to be cognizant of the fact that I would be working through a computer screen to achieve sales results with NLP processes. I started with all the things that applied to both worlds of selling online and face-to-face; Rapport will always be fundamental to success. If you are a master of rapport you will sell regardless of business landscape. Eradicating negative emotions for example fear, are of utmost importance. Having a fearless attitude rather than one of fear will augur well when approaching a senior decision maker. Learning structure to negotiate and close deals. These are important tools to have when the time comes to swoop the contract. Understanding the buying strategy of a potential client. This can be elicited on the phone or in person. Creating states of mind like resilience, flexibility and confidence to capture the entire sales life cycle effectively. The points I raised above are but some models that create outstanding sales results with NLP. Simple to learn, fast and profound in impact. It is the difference that makes the difference! Moving on to selling from home I created a workspace where I would be relaxed and comfortable to be selling online. The next and biggest hurdle was to embrace the technology to conduct my courses. I started with small groups then progressed to larger sessions. Working through my business model I also realised that seeking approval for Skills Future Government funding would help citizens access my courses with the balance available to them. A fundamental aspect of this entire process was about stepping into my clients’ shoes to understand what they would be seeking. This entire process that I went through in my business augured well for selling in pandemic times. It has only been a year plus since the pandemic struck yet my entire business has been turned on its head and I am operating with ease, in fact totally loving it. I asked myself “what did it take?” A bit of resilience, flexibility and confidence to move forward into the unknown and make it happen!  Richard’s spousal relationship made a significant turnaround fast. He was shocked at the rapid changes both he and his wife experienced. Overnight they were both on a different level. It was a miracle!
But then again was it? In the back of his mind his NLP coach Sandy’s voice rang loud and clear. She had said that as he hit session 3 or so, he would begin to see phenomenal changes. His internal radar was re-orientating. He didn’t quite understand what that meant specifically as he had never experienced immediate change before. As he learnt more about NLP he was beginning to gain some semblance of deeper understanding as to how the unconscious mind worked. NLP worked completely with the unconscious mind, by-passing conscious filters which is how change happened fast. In layman’s terms when Richard cleared anger that he had harboured for years, he changed some pictures, sounds and feelings of the event that had caused him to be angry. He did not have to discuss why he felt that way or intervene with conscious thought. It was such an easy, meditative process called Timeline Intervention. Contrary to what he had heard in the past this did not require a diagnosis or judgment of any sort. He merely knew he had anger – not why, how, when, where? Then cleared it through Sandy’s expertise in facilitating the NLP process. It made sense to do it this way. For years he had steered away from “therapy” never wanting to talk about his anger. If only he knew that NLP did not require him to do so. No wonder Sandy called it Rapid Success Coaching! It was starting to make so much sense now. There were processes for every type of life situation – conflict resolution, rapport building and more. He thought this would prove beneficial to his team as well. His relationships there could improve significantly too. In fact he would bring Sandy in to do some ground work with the team while he did some of her online classes and upskilled himself. She had designed these courses specifically for people to live from Purpose and taught these very processes that he experienced as a client. “Create Your Future Now” was about eradicating past negativity and designing a purposeful future. He knew that working with “context, process and structure” was an art, he wanted to learn. “Content” of life was slow and noisy. Stepping out of it with artful questioning and influential language was the way to go. Plus if he could help his team change the 5 senses in experiences that were the blockage, their perspectives would improve for the better. It was like doing a software update for your computer. NLP was becoming more commonplace in corporates, where tools were applied to leadership, coaching and culture alignment. Leaders were more open to engaging coaches and trainers as a means to improve career growth and manage themselves efficiently. It’s funny how this was more evident now than ever for Richard. He had taken the blinkers off and realised that many colleagues had hired coaches. Anything to make things happen and achieve the goals they set for themselves. There was one philosophy in particular overarching NLP technology that stuck in his mind. It read “if I can change my mind, I can change my performance. So when I change my performance, I change my results.” The tools to change his mind were in the NLP toolbox and if he had his way he would have liked to add the word “FAST”. He had re-programmed his thought patterns, the habits he had formed from young. These emotional thought patterns had affected his mental health all through his adult life. Now that he was free he could imagine what his team and company would be like if everyone was on the same level playing field. Speaking the same language, they would be producing superior results without trying. NLP being an accelerated learning model fit perfectly into the mindset of a high performer or a progressive employee, anyone who wanted to spike their career path fast. It was like unknotting a rope within. Exactly what Richard had experienced once he unknotted himself. He saw different perspectives and felt totally refreshed! A new way of operating was available. He just had to choose it. Many described NLP as magic. He now knew why!  When clients approach us for presentation and public speaking skills training, they understandably seem excited about getting into the technical components of being a great public speaker — vocal exercises for a more authoritative voice, phonetics lessons for better pronunciation etc.
These certainly should be among the features of a quality public speaking programme. However, if you think that the keys to achieving these outcomes are exercises such as intense vocal training and phonetics drills, think again. Jumping to these components before addressing more fundamental issues will make the road to becoming a great public speaker longer and possibly more arduous. I take the approach of working intensely, yet rapidly, on ‘self’ issues before plunging into technical training. By addressing these issues first, you’ll put yourself on the fast-track to becoming a confident, credible, authentic and memorable speaker. Reframe Your Jitters as Excitement One of the biggest problems people face is jitters. Some have such intense worries about stage fright that they begin having nightmares months before they’re due to address an audience. A certain amount of nervousness can be good. It ensures that you put effort into preparing what you’re going to say and that you stay ‘on’ throughout your time in front of an audience. However, to keep nerves from becoming destructive, instead of asking people to calm down which can be incredibly challenging, we take people through a reframing exercise that enables them to transform jitters into excitement. Remind yourself why you care about this speaking opportunity. Why is this audience important to you? By telling yourself out loud how excited you are about this speaking opportunity and the impact it will have on your audience, you’ll begin the process of reframing it as an exciting event rather than a formidable task. Another technique that’s proven to be effective is to visualise the entire event from start to finish and imagine it going really well. Imagine what your audience looks like throughout your delivery and imagine them feeling satisfied and walking away with something valuable at the end of your speech. Learn How to Manage Your State We also take our learners through powerful state management techniques to enable them to stay ‘in the zone’ throughout their speech. These usually involve recalling a past event where they felt positive emotions (e.g. confidence). Remembering what that looked like, sounded like and felt like is the first step to being able to use it as an anchor that you can call upon whenever you want to recreate the same magic for any speaking engagement. Pause and Breathe Many people take breathing for granted until they’re made to realise that they’re not doing it right. Many of us breathe while heaving our chest up and down. However, you’re not breathing right unless you’re breathing into your stomach. In other words, as you breathe, your abdominal area should expand. This breath when exhaled gradually will support your words as you speak. Breath support ensures your voice sounds richer and more resonant. It also prevents your voice from trailing off at the ends of sentences and eliminates vocal fry (a low and scratchy voice, especially at the ends of sentences). Pausing and breathing every now and then while speaking will also help regulate the pace of your speech while reducing stress and anxiety. The best performers would tell you that committing to breathing exercises on a daily basis will strengthen your lungs and vocal muscles in the long run. As a result, delivering your message authoritatively in your best voice will become effortless. In short, to accelerate your journey to becoming an amazing public speaker, slow down, take a step back, commit to the fundamentals and most of all, breathe! This post was contributed by Communications Strategist, Consultant and Coach, Bharati Jagdish |
SYLVIA FERNANDES
Sylvia is a qualified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Trainer. She started her business in Sydney and is now based in Singapore. Archives
January 2025
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