Stepping Into Another’s World

​My recent trip to Lisbon began at the check-in counter. Computer terminals were not working as a check-in staff hopped from one to another, hoping for better luck. Her frustration was mounting as she raced against time.
 
I was glad when she looked up and beckoned to me. Pushing my heavy-laden trolley forward, I began to step into her world. It was a bad start to her morning.
Speaking in a tone, rhythm and speed similar to her, I began to build rapport, a fundamental Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique.
 
This relaxed her. She felt I was familiar which gave her the focus she needed to get her job done fast. I was carrying 61kg of personal belongings for a friend who had just migrated from Singapore. For me, it was fundamentally about how I could get as much checked in as possible.
 
Giving her the silence that she needed intermittently, I slowly wove a story in to her unconscious mind, about my friend. I felt she had much in common as I realised she was single too. I knew she was intrigued as she asked more questions, engaging with me. Her curiosity led me to believe that she was in the same predicament. I had struck some empathy with her.
 
She looked at my trolley and asked “do you wish to check all those bags?” I frowned with a smile and said “yes” then left a block of silence. I gave her time to process.
 
She said “give me a minute” and hurried over to her manager. Nodding her head as she returned, she said “I’ll do it for you”. I couldn’t believe my ears. My heart thumped with excitement as all boxes were checked in seamlessly. She had acceded to my request. I wasn’t charged for the additional 21kg. 
 
She totally understood my desire to help a friend and the gates of rapport had opened within her, to help me. I had stepped into her shoes to realise that she too might want new possibilities someday.
 
Thinking back I reflected on what I had done. This is what came to mind;
 
LOOK FOR A CONNECTION

• I connected with her world by stepping into her shoes – she was single, desiring what my friend was seeking too.

 
MATCH TONALITY OF SPEECH

• Her unconscious mind relaxed when she felt a familiarity with me – this came from pacing her language.

 
USE NEGATIVES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

• Rather than say “You’ve had a difficult day” which would focus on tough experiences, I focused her mind on “easy”.

 
This is outcome-driven communication. You become targeted in approach. If you enjoyed this read, it is a sign that you are ready to learn more NLP techniques.