Annabelle’s story was classic. She had been in bad relationships all her life. This included relationships with her parents, siblings and extended family. She felt they were to blame. She didn’t notice how her own patterns contributed to the dynamics of these relationships.
Being locked at home with her partner during the pandemic, her relationship came under the microscope. Issues highlighted were ones that had been staring her in the face for a long time. She was going crazy not knowing how to sort out her life.
Having seen a Facebook post from a coach, she responded. Sandy turned out to be a saving grace. She was trained in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), a model created by two geniuses who coded and structured how rapid change could occur via the unconscious mind.
Hailed as a magical intervention that worked well with the inner self to attain better outcomes in life, the NLP toolbox contained more than 100 processes.
Sandy singled out 3 of the most important NLP techniques that she felt helped her make a quick turnaround. She felt others would also benefit the way she did. NLP techniques focus on deleting unhelpful programs and installing more generative ones in replacement.
Three NLP Techniques That Transformed Annabelle’s Life:
1. Eliminate Unwanted Habits
The Swish pattern was useful for Annabelle as it helped her swish out unwanted habits and redirect her focus to healthier ones. All she had to do was push away pictures that she had formed for the former while bringing the latter picture to the forefront.
Her coach, Sandy felt this technique was useful as Annabelle displayed compulsive/obsessive behaviours such as nail-biting, smoking and addiction to foods like sugary snacks. All of these had an impact on her self-esteem and as a result, overflowed into her relationship.
Annabelle felt a huge amount of stress release from doing this technique. She was beginning to see the value of NLP coaching.
2. Elicit Values for Motivation
Annabelle suffered greatly from a lack of motivation. She had no purpose to be alive which is why she unconsciously sabotaged her relationships. Dragging her feet was not the way to live. She had reached her threshold.
This was a sign to Sandy as an NLP coach that Annabelle needed to migrate to a new level of values. She elicited Annabelle’s values for life by asking “what’s important to you about life?” It was fundamental that Annabelle see the list that emerged.
She learnt that because values are our deepest unconscious filter, it is important to understand and acknowledge the values that drive her. This would then help her align her values internally and make decisions that propelled her to them.
No wonder she was unhappy at work. She was in the wrong job. It was crystal clear to her, without any prodding from Sandy. She knew she had to eventually leave.
When people’s work and personal life are aligned with their values, they are comfortable, happy and in a natural state. It’s no secret that employees whose values are most aligned to the organisation become high performers. They are able to see their role clearly and know how they contribute to the organisation’s overall results.
3. Identify Gaps in Strategies
Annabelle had a horrible buying strategy that had gotten her into trouble throughout her life. This was also linked to her compulsive behaviour. It was the bane of Annabelle’s life. This was hard on her spouse too as their credit card bills were excessive.
Sandy proceeded to elicit Annabelle’s buying strategy. She explained that strategies were a train of thoughts a person went through to make a decision or achieve a goal. These strategies were described using the five senses i.e. what you see, hear, smell, taste and feel. In other words, what they were after was a set of internal procedures that produce a specific outcome.
Every time Annabelle was faced with a buying situation, an NLP strategy elicitation could help her take a closer look at the chain of events leading to the decision. It would reveal a step that needed to be changed or removed for her to successfully walk away.
Annabelle was thankful for the diagnosis as to which step of her strategy got her into trouble each time. She almost wanted to go out and try her new strategy. It was exciting to say the least.
Sandy chose these techniques as they had a close relationship to the goals that Annabelle had worked through in her first session. The objective was to break the unconscious links between Annabelle’s brain and her behaviours.
In a matter of three sessions, she was already feeling 80% better. She was not done yet, but she was adamant that NLP could transform lives if only people cared to give it a chance. The best part was that she did not have to divulge any private details to Sandy. All she did was tell Sandy what she wanted to eradicate and they worked on it.
The NLP toolbox revealed coaching in a systematic and structured way. It was far from traditional. In fact, the interaction with Sandy debunked all the myths she had heard about NLP sessions. She loved every minute of them.
It was rapid transformation at a totally different level!
Sylvia is a qualified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Trainer. She started her business in Sydney and is now based in Singapore.