​The meaning of NLP is simple. It is an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. How do you know that you
like something or dislike something? How do you know that something like a bill you have paid is in the past or an unpaid bill is something in the future? Neuro linguistic programming is a jigsaw puzzle of your mind. It teaches you where information is stored and how to retrieve it easily. It also contains the methodology of eradicating negativity fast and permanently…

In one of my earlier blogs “What is NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)?” I defined NLP as an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. Many people ask “is it beneficial to learn NLP?” As human beings we think and feel then apply language to our actions. These produce results in our lives whether in our career or family contexts. So just imagine if you knew how to change your thoughts and feelings? And if you had language models to influence others? Wouldn’t these produce amazing results in your life?

Well this is what NLP Training does. I teach you models that produce accelerated outcomes, ones that high performers use to achieve outstanding performance. And why wouldn’t it? After all NLP was created by two geniuses in the late 70’s. Co-founded by a Professor of Linguistics, Dr. John Grinder and a computer scientist, Richard Bandler, I had the pleasure of meeting them both on many occasions. I wanted to learn NLP from the masters themselves! So you may be wondering what NLP stands for?

Neuro
We process our experience through the five senses – what we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. Our filtering through values
and beliefs for instance differs from one person to another. We capture and store these experiences.

Linguistic​
We then assign our own meaning to the data we have received and apply verbal and non-verbal language to what we have
captured above in the five senses.

Programming
Our unconscious mind works in patterns which we call habits – good and bad. We are programmed emotionally from young.
We are able to change/break these patterns and install new ones that produce better results.

NLP consists of more than 100 processes, each one for a specific problem. It caters to every type of issue found in a person’s life. Whether it is resolving team conflict, deepening rapport with friends, managing a state of mind to achieve personal goals or understanding how values drive motivation, there is a process for it. The first level of an NLP course that is certified, is the NLP Practitioner program. It starts off by helping to shift mindsets and work with context rather than content.

This migration to resolve issues out of the content of an experience creates accelerated results. We do not need to ask WHY, WHO, WHAT, WHEN or WHERE an experience occurred. For example, if you know the language of influence and use its structure to negotiate a sale or engage your child in a conversation, just imagine the stress you could ooad at the workplace or home.

When an organisation views NLP training as an investment it is an awesome step in re-directing the mindset of employees towards the corporate mission. This leads to clearer and transparent communication which harnesses engagement and ultimately higher bottom line results. It is worth every dollar spent for everyone in the organisation tolearn NLP. Which corporate wouldn’t want such a return on investment? I have seen successful companies get their money’s worth signing up for an NLP course in the following ways:

They invest in upgrading employee skills during downtime, prepared to hit the ground running when good times come around again. It is highly recommended that the NLP program be rolled out over several months to allow employees time to assimilate knowledge learnt and integrate application in small chunks. They launch a corporate wide NLP course to create a common language that opens up communication and transparency.

Here are three major reasons why an NLP program is worth much more than the corporate’s initial investment:

1. Mindset shifts create a healthier culture of working with context and this leads to happier people who take charge. This reduces hours lost in sick leave, conflict resolution and demotivated staff who drag their feet getting things done. A case in point is the CEO who hired me to “make his people happy”. He felt that if his people were happy at work and at home, the rest would fall in place. It was a win-win situation all round. Within 6 months of conducting the NLP program, bottom line results started to spike and once the momentum began, there was no turning back.
   
2. The current workplace scenario not only requires producing exceptional performance but more importantly to behaviour and motivate your team to greater outcomes. An NLP course gives you the tools for effectiveness. NLP training would first teach you to identify the leverage points for making behaviour change. This sets the stage to solve problems and improve team effectiveness fast, working within the context of a person’s experience rather than getting into an endless “he said, she said” altercation.
3. Improving sales is at the heart of business generation and this is why many organisations who sign up for an NLP course always start with their sales force. When the sales force is put through the steps of learning how to build rapport, match language, negotiate effectively and motivate clients there’s no stopping the upward sales curve. Ideally, I would recommend that you learn NLP face-to-face but in the current Covid scenario I’ve changed my format to an NLP online course, blending components of pre-study in audio and book formats plus face-to- face, to pull it all together.
   

I find that this has its advantages too, allowing participants to learn through different styles by engaging in all their five senses. There are myriad reasons why an NLP training is well worth the time and money invested in it. With such a range of processes at your disposal there will always be a solution for any problem in your organisation. An organisation is only as good as its people. Take care of the people and the rest will fall in place.

​Knowing that NLP training is an effective way to empower people in your organisation to solve problems and perform at their optimum level, doesn’t it make sense to pave the way for them?

​Following on from our blog about how to solve problems with Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), a common corporate application is to model high performers. After all, the entire body of knowledge that is called NLP today, emerged from modelling high performers in the field of psychotherapy.
 
Today, we need to think different. We need to understand context of the environment we are in, the players we are up against and the resources needed to achieve our Vision.
 
Whether in an organisation or personally, the ability to extract “excellence strategies” from a high performer with a view to transference to the team, is fundamental to success.
 
Wouldn’t every senior leader want this? Isn’t this something a parent could teach their child?
 
Setting ourselves apart from the masses is the key. Eliciting internal strategies of high performers is knowledge that most do not have. An NLP Practitioner Certification course is the starting point to learn the ropes.
 
A lady in one of my programs found she had no internal dialogue when she was ready to close a deal. She was a high performer in sales. Others in the sales team elicited their closing strategies and realised that they could eliminate this aspect of what they did.
 
True to form, team performance elevated to greater heights as soon as some of them amended their internal strategies. It was only one step that needed a change.
 
Many said it was unbelievable. They wished they had learnt it before. Wouldn’t you want the same for your teams?
 

​Post-Covid 19 Approach

​1. Structure
It is ever so important to learn structure of anything you would like to master. To understand how the mind works is an essential part of progress, for this is where you replicate your talent to others in the workplace.

What do I mean by structure? At an NLP for success at work course, you will learn the art of delivering a message. It isn’t only in the words that you use, in fact the right tonality gives way to a far better outcome.

This is only one side of effective communication in the workplace.

2. Listening power
The other large component is listening power. We have two ears and one mouth to be used in that proportion.

Listen for what is not being said, to diagnose communication problems in the workplace. Often the problem lies beneath the surface and needs to be unravelled, for a solutions-focused approach.

3. Exercise professionalism
In the years that I was an employee working in large corporates, I had a very strong philosophy of leaving my personal and professional life separate.

This continued into my years as an entrepreneur and I am the better for it. I built credibility and colleagues took me seriously. The NLP for success at work course helped me tremendously in tweaking my style of communication to suit the people I was interacting with.

4. Keep the face-to-face meetings
We are human at the end of the day and we need socialisation. With most of our communication now online, we must realise that many communication problems in the workplace stem from this.

If you have the authority to call the shots, decide to bring your team in to the office, at least once or twice a week. This human connection accounts for a lot and reinforces team members’ sense of belonging.

​5. Transparency is key
The last thing you want is for your team to find out about something relevant to them, before you have updated them. If you keep communication rolling, the open nature of downloads will deepen belief in you and the system in place.

Trust is then installed and this is probably the ultimate aim of achieving effective communication in the workplace. Once you have established this, you have everything.

6. Feedback loop
Ensure that the feedback loop is active and works. In many ways your ability to learn is based on receiving feedback. Living in a silo where you are not connecting or communicating with others will make you myopic and unable to relate to others.

Ego and stubborn headedness are also setbacks to effective communication in the workplace. There is no value in this, as colleagues disengage from you and problems like conflict begin to sow their seeds.

You will find many NLP online courses in the marketplace today. Simply put, I would recommend you go for any NLP-based course as the tools you learn will blow your mind away.

Regardless of role in the company, these tools will help you resolve communication problems at work. Highly applicable to the workplace, you will be able to use them immediately.

Sylvia Fernandes is the Founder & CEO of VIA Frontiers. She is a Master Trainer of NLP who is specialised in corporate applications. She started her business in Sydney in 2002 and has been operating in the Asia Pacific Region ever since. She is currently based in Singapore. She is also the author of Bye Bye Black Cat -- Turn Your Luck Around and Realise Opportunities. Visit VIA Frontiers for more information.

Rapid success coaching emerged as a by-product of more than 30 years-experience in changing and aligning organisational cultures. The one thing organisations yearned for was change in a short timeframe.
​
As I worked through organisations in a top-down approach, I had the opportunity to understand how I could mesh processes within the Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) toolbox to create more impactful results. The Rapid Success Coaching model was brewing within me.
 
I observed how employees turned around fast, given a few self-management tools. Like catching a tiger by its tail, managers found their teams flew to accelerated results. What underpinned this rapid transformation?
 
I spoke to participants who met with this success. They were animated and eloquent in explaining their internal unblocking experience and were quick to add that NLP processes were at the source of this change.
 
Little did they know that there were other modalities that I was working with too, that they were not aware of. I was adding to the Rapid Success Coaching model which essentially targets self-management.
 
As a change facilitator my objective was to help individuals, departments and organisations make a change…..as graciously as possible, whatever it took. Most organisations were time poor. They were on the search for fast results.
 
Being a quick processor myself, I had the methodology to empower leaders, coach managers and mobilise teams to higher levels of performance. And so Rapid Success Coaching using rapid success technology was born.
 
More and more, leaders realised they needed help. Most worried and shied away from coaching in the beginning as they were concerned with having to divulge private and personal information.
 
However, when informed that these self-management tools comprised a toolbox of facilitated processes like visualising and meditating, they were put at ease. In so many instances, leaders shared at the end of sessions how much they looked forward to the next one.
 
When you master NLP as a coach and are able to use this as a fundamental transformation pillar, then add unique talents and expertise to the brew, this produces magic. The trick is to stay out of content which is noisy and only serves to distract from the issue at hand.
 
As I worked through the context of a person’s experience, they knew what needed to be changed so they made the necessary changes. For instance, one leader felt his hands would involuntarily shake as he presented at the lectern.
 
In a few processes he eradicated this and couldn’t imagine he had lived with that all his life. In fact that also led to other wonderful side effects like restful sleep at night and a feeling of relaxation, something he had not experienced in a long time.
 
Hard to believe and feeling incredulous at the results he had achieved, this was the door that opened him to master NLP. In so many cases as Rapid Success Coaching goes beyond the boundaries of one’s mind, it has to be experienced to be believed.
 

Workplace conflict is normal. In fact, arguments, disagreements and misunderstandings are to be expected when you put a group of people together in any context. It’s all part of communication problems at work or life for that matter. 

​
Of course, it’s also normal that we find conflict rather unpleasant and seek to avoid it as far as possible. But that’s being unrealistic. Rather than wish for no arguments, it’s more helpful to accept that conflict will occur now and again. How you handle it, is what matters more. 

The good news is learning how to resolve conflict in the workplace gives us tools which become handy in our personal lives too. It is valuable to look at conflicts or arguments as useful and as a sign of engagement. It shows that people care.

That’s a positive sign compared to apathy, where people feel anything goes. It is also an opportunity to improve teamwork in the workplace.  It would augur well to equip yourself with some techniques on how to be a good team leader. This will boost confidence with the team and reduce stress when conflict arises. 

Here are four ways to improve communication problems at work: 

1. Content Reframing

​This is a very efficient technique to apply when you feel stuck in an argument. I’m sure you recall moments of digging in and standing your ground, not wanting to give in, feeling so strongly about whatever ideology you believed in. 

Reframing will empower you by changing the meaning of the argument into something useful. It’s natural to become defensive when you’re in the thick of an argument but this just blows it out of proportion.

It’s more useful to shift your focus. It helps clear the head and resolve conflict in the workplace faster. For example, if your team is arguing about the approach to be taken for a particular project. 

2. Build Rapport
The world revolves around relationships, at work, at home or in social settings. Lack of communication is the root cause of most communication problems at work. 

The feeling of being on the same wavelength with someone is called rapport. When you’re in rapport with co-workers there is mutual understanding, trust and empathy. Communication is made easy.

Wouldn’t it be great to learn how to resolve conflict in the workplace? Then, build better relationships? People who attend NLP for work courses often report that they see a significant improvement in this area, not just at work but in their personal lives too!

Having empathy for your colleagues and understanding their position enables you to see other perspectives. Participants in my NLP program never fail to be amazed by the immediate shift they experience by stepping into another’s shoes. 

You can resolve conflict in the workplace by learning how to read non-verbal communication cues from the person you are communicating with. A hint is to look for what they are doing rather than what they are saying. It is observing unconscious actions that will boost your skills and set you up for success on how to be a good team leader. 


3. Manage Your Emotions

An NLP for work program will set you up for life. It will teach you one of the most powerful tools, i.e. how to be well-versed with managing your emotional state. And being knowledgeable about how other peoples’ emotions work. 

For example, when you are faced with an angry colleague or boss and you fly off the handle too, the situation will surely go downhill. The intelligent alternative is to acknowledge his or her emotion and then respond with empathy.

Anger is just an expression of some other issue - fear, perceived injustice or lack of rapport, contribute to communication problems at work. So, before you react, step into their world, understand where they are coming from and then respond.   

When you respect your co-workers view of life, which is probably different to yours, arguments are significantly reduced. 

4. Listen Actively

Listening actively is an invaluable skill in any situation, be it professional or personal. It establishes rapport and reveals what the other person needs which helps improve teamwork in the workplace.

For example, dealing with a team that argues all the time can be challenging. It’s a sign of serious communication problems at work. It’s crucial to give team members the time and space to vent their frustration, disappointment or unhappiness.

One way of learning how to be a good team leader is to provide them a safe outlet to freely express their feelings. It’s important not to interrupt them. Or worse, listen with the intention of rebutting what they’re saying.

Nod at appropriate moments to indicate you understand what they’re saying. This gives them the assurance that you’re listening. And finally, ask questions to clarify anything you don’t understand after they have fully explained a problem.

In conclusion, every working person finds themselves in an argument now and then. Disagreements are part and parcel of the workplace. But we have choices too. We can learn how to resolve conflict in the workplace faster and more efficiently, by attending an NLP for work program.

You can go a step further and even learn to reduce arguments through clearer communication with the people in your life. Learning to navigate the minefield of human interaction will certainly make life smoother all around. This is one of the major benefits of NLP for work.

​Signing up for an NLP for work program is a life changing experience. Why live in fear of arguments at work? Empower yourself and your teams with tools to build rapport and manage emotions with the right NLP training! 
​

I lived in the banking world for 13 years and loved every minute of it. When I foundmy self-growth at a plateau I knew it was a sign to leave the industry. Transitioning through headhunting and IT consulting recruitment I started my own business in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), focusing on corporate applications.

From leadership to coaching, communication to sales, I worked in different organisations in the Asia Pacific Region helping companies align their teams for high performance. With that great bandwidth of knowledge and experience 18 years later, I knew that selling in pandemic times, required me to change how I sell and communicate with my clients.

The VUCA world we live in today assumes volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity in our environment. Hence the
first call was to operate with resilience, sell with flexibility and prepare for a challenge anytime. These are some thoughts I had about the mindset required to produce sales results with NLP today;

The adventurer salesman who creates an infrastructure for selling from home in person and online will be the winner. The technologically-savvy salesman who knows where to find leads online and how to access them. A salesperson who has invested in “selling online” courses so they know how to engage their audience and create a win-win. The psychologically-savvy salesman who knows working with the unconscious mind gives them the edge that high performers have.

​Having trained and consulted 100% face-to-face since starting my business, I was one of many who had to make a right turn, to still be in the game. To start selling online required a totally new approach. I used the Covid lockdown time as reprieve to create and develop, to get back in the game. Assessing my products and services I asked myself “How could I start selling from home and selling online?” I needed new products. So I set out to re-invent my face-to-face courses as well as create new courses into the online space.

To differentiate myself I showcased sales results with NLP that a client would derive. Selling in pandemic times required deep work through the unconscious mind to get rid of fears and anxiety the general population were feeling. Many salespeople carry the fear of speaking to senior people, cold calling, etc. It was about changing the way a sales person operates. I had to be cognizant of the fact that I would be working through a computer screen to achieve sales results with NLP processes.

I started with all the things that applied to both worlds of selling online and face-to-face; Rapport will always be fundamental to success. If you are a master of rapport you will sell regardless of business landscape. Eradicating negative emotions for example fear, are of utmost importance. Having a fearless attitude rather than one of fear will augur well when approaching a senior decision maker.

Learning structure to negotiate and close deals. These are important tools to have when the time comes to swoop the contract. Understanding the buying strategy of a potential client. This can be elicited on the phone or in person. Creating states of mind like resilience, flexibility and confidence to capture the entire sales life cycle effectively.

The points I raised above are but some models that create outstanding sales results with NLP. Simple to learn, fast and profound in impact. It is the difference that makes the difference! Moving on to selling from home I created a workspace where I would be relaxed and comfortable to be selling online.

​The next and biggest hurdle was to embrace the technology to conduct my courses. I started with small groups then progressed to larger sessions. Working through my business model I also realised that seeking approval for Skills Future Government funding would help citizens access my courses with the balance available to them.

A fundamental aspect of this entire process was about stepping into my clients’ shoes to understand what they would be seeking. This entire process that I went through in my business augured well for selling in pandemic times. It has only been a year plus since the pandemic struck yet my entire business has been turned on its head and I am operating with ease, in fact totally loving it. I asked myself “what did it take?”

A bit of resilience, flexibility and confidence to move forward into the unknown and make it happen!

Neuro Linguistic Programming is an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. Co-founded by a Professor of Linguistics, Dr. John Grinder and a computer scientist, Richard Bandler in the late 70’s, Neuro Linguistic Programming found its roots in psychotherapy.

One of my biggest learnings from my very profound father was to be proficient in what I did, whatever I chose that to be. The more reliance on self, the faster I could achieve what I wanted. The more I depended on others, the less control I would have on my outcomes.

The concept of achieving work-life balance is very personal and subjective as it is determined by so many variables;

Gone are the days when people were expected to ‘work hard’ and ‘put in the long hours’. We now live in a world that is fast paced and more efficient than ever, which prizes working smart.

I stumbled across my Life Path’s journey unknowingly. My heart raced as I heard my friend Geraldine’s voice filled with excitement and emotion. She was happy. I felt it. It would be good to have some of what she had too” I thought at the time. 

She had just completed a personal growth program. Needless to say I was roped in to experience this and others, some of which I loved. Others that did not resonate, I left behind. 

Beginning with the basics, I was a tough nut to crack. I had a strong mind, trained ferociously by my corporate experience as a banker. While it was a great foundation to operate from, it also didn’t allow for growth in the emotional and spiritual realms. There were expectations to be a certain way, operate from logic, casting aside my true self. 

The Rolls Royce of personal growth programs came last. I was introduced to Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) by my friend John who was a Practitioner from twenty years before. 

The biggest draw for me was that the entire NLP model comprised techniques for self-discovery with an extremely deep structure. I loved how it drew on process and context rather than content.

Exploring and understanding values, beliefs and behaviors I was able to disband with emotional blockages which surfaced in the form of beliefs I held from my upbringing. Little did I know that they were family beliefs that did not augur well for my current life. 

By clearing these and creating new, more effective beliefs, I supported my continuous growth. I could leave alone, the “content” of how these beliefs were installed. Private incidences could be left private. I did not need the who, where and when to make or facilitate change. 

Very accelerated in achieving results through increased emotional intelligence I found I understood and managed myself effectively. Empathy levels escalated and my ability to navigate complex social situations heightened. 

Being a person who loved change, I took to NLP like a duck to water. Working through certification as an NLP Trainer, I jumped to the other side and became a facilitator. Traveling across boundaries physical and emotional, to find clients who needed to make change. 

Today, I realise I found my Life Path through my personal growth journey. What do I have today that I did not have before? A life filled with Purpose and Passion. Did I think about personal growth in this way? A definite NO. 
In essence, my heart sang and pulled me towards my Life’s calling!
I urge you on this path too. If you feel there is something greater out there for you, scour the personal growth arena for anything that calls out to you. 
NLP skills provide a foundation for lifelong learning and personal evolution. Individuals are able to navigate the complexities of life with confidence, resilience, and a positive mindset. 
The adaptability and universality of NLP make it a valuable asset for long-term personal and professional success. 
If you would like to experience some of what I did, decide on a Path and begin the Journey. 

One of our clients recently said that he has observed greater engagement from his team as a result of taking concrete steps to be an effective mentor and coach. 
Indeed, studies show that coaching and mentoring can increase engagement, job satisfaction and morale, teamwork and even bench strength. 
Granted, some of the best mentoring and coaching experiences occur informally over coffee, in corridors, and chance interactions during the course of work. 

However, in order for these interactions to have the potential to be powerful, people in the organisation need to have a coaching and mentoring mindset. This could shift your organisational culture. Imagine people having candid coaching conversations across your organisation. 

To make this happen, ensure your people listen and communicate skilfully in order to be the best colleagues they can be. 
Comprehensive coaching and mentoring programmes can sensitise them to the following:

Identify opportunities for coaching
Learn how to recognise when a person is open to coaching. Here are some cues you can listen for: 

1. I need help with this.
   
2. Could I run some ideas by you?
   
3. I need help thinking things through. 

Help them master the basics of a good coaching conversation
Coaching isn’t about providing solutions. It’s about uncovering answers through inquiry, and exploration. Coaches know that the following are absolutely fundamental to a productive interaction.

1. Listen carefully
   
2. Respond thoughtfully by asking questions to draw out more insights, prompt reflection or to expand the person’s mental model
   
3. Resist imposing your own views and solutions

Ensure that mentoring programmes are structured 
Many organisations encourage mentorship without any structure. This results in interactions that often go nowhere. 

Start building a culture of mentorship by having structured programmes and providing guidance for fruitful mentoring relationships. Make it clear that mentoring topics could include discussions about purpose and skills, situational advice and giving and receiving constructive feedback. 

In the initial stages, you might have to hire experts to structure programmes and guides, but once a culture of mentoring takes hold, your people will need only minimal handholding. 

This post was co-written by Communications Strategist, Consultant and Coach, Bharati Jagdish.

Your corporate communications and human resources department might be regularly putting out announcements on DEI values and initiatives, but if employees don’t embody these values in their day-to-day interactions and business operations, your DEI efforts will most certainly fall flat. Most of all, your organisation will fail to leverage the power of DEI and lag behind competitors who’ve done so successfully.
 
If you’re still struggling, don’t worry. Just get up to speed. Many answers lie in behavioural change and communication to be equitable and inclusive in order to truly harness the power of diversity.
 
In our last post, we talked about the importance of actively calling out unconscious biases and using inclusive language. Here are more tips on truly making DEI work:
 
Walk the talk, engage intentionally to illustrate the value of inclusivity
Inclusive language must translate into concrete action. Dialogues that allow people from underrepresented groups to share their personal narratives shouldn’t end there. Be proactive in addressing the issues they raise and keep all employees informed of the steps you’ve taken to improve things.
Importantly, insights from dialogues should inform your business decisions.
For instance, what your introverted employees tell you about their preferences could determine product design for a particular customer base. Share how you’ve implemented these valuable insights. This shows people that their perspectives matter to the organisation and are positively contributing to the bottom line as well.
Speaking of introverts, ensure that you engage employees using communication techniques based on their preferred mode of communication. Not everyone is comfortable speaking up in a townhall. Some might prefer to send their questions electronically or merely fill out a survey. Your job is to make sure all channels are open and given equal attention.
 
Explain equity-centred policies, encourage empathy
To ensure a healthy workplace culture, everyone in the organisation must be on the same page when it comes to policies that support equity. Leadership must consistently communicate why certain policies are in place to help underrepresented groups level up. Crucially, communication needs to also convey how everyone benefits when DEI is effective. 
As part of this process, co-workers must be encouraged to participate in experiential exercises that allow them to empathise with underrepresented individuals.
Retention becomes easier with this egalitarian approach.
​
Be transparent and accountable
Successfully cultivating DEI requires leadership commitment. Leaders need to be transparent in terms of acknowledging systemic and unconscious biases, demonstrating empathy and committing to bridging the gaps between where the organisation is now and where it should be in the near future.
 
Being transparent on the DEI journey allows leaders to model a learning culture and also demonstrates a willingness to be held accountable.
 
Communicate consistently about how DEI is improving crucial aspects of the workplace - culture, mental health, talent attention and retention, business results. Go beyond numbers and tell true stories of employee experiences.
 
This post was co-written by Communications Strategist, Consultant and Coach, Bharati Jagdish.
 

​Looking back on my career as an employee I had the pleasure of working with many leaders. There were intermittent bad ones no doubt but in the main most were the reason I woke up in the morning to go to work.
 
When life as an employee ended, my entrepreneurial skills included sifting for good leaders. I knew good leadership from afar and knew that if they bought my services, they would be a pleasure to serve. 

​Looking back now as a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer and business owner for 21 years, I know the traits that make a good leader. I attempt to explain these to you but they are by no means exhaustive. You could add to my discussion I am sure.
 
Self-Growth
 
A good leader has to believe in continuous learning for self, and others working in the team. This includes keeping current with the environment and what it calls out for. In today’s world, resilience and adaptive capabilities sound out as number one on the list.
 
Communication
 
Language verbal and non-verbal can make or break a leader. Learning language that is two-way and influencing far outweighs directive language, though in some instances the latter is called for and needed.
 
Spiritual Intelligence
 
Far greater than the power of academic excellence comes the ability to inspire, be passionate and purposeful. This requires guided expertise to tap into for a leader’s identity is dormant until activated.
 
Only once these are achieved is a leader truly able to develop people down the line effectively. The need to set up coaching infrastructures, giving managers the skills to coach and individuals the ability to self-manage.
 
A client situation comes to mind. Using NLP tools and techniques, everyone down the line were given coaching skills in tranches over a period of eight months or so.
 
It was striking to see how groups of people motivated themselves to achieve high performance. It was like lightning, how people awakened to their own sense of power.
 
The leader knew he had done his job, admitting to me that he could finally do his real work of taking the organization where it needed to go. He had stopped the flow of people into his office.
 
They were armed with applicable tools that heightened their performance and gave them edge over competitors. Wasn’t that what every leader should be doing?
 
Looking back as a consultant offering organisations’ services, I observed the following traits about leaders who hired me. They were;

• secure in themselves, willing to take the brunt of any fallout that eventuated
  
  
• keen on learning expertise from niche market providers who were operating in the external environment
  
  
• truly keen on developing their people, wanting their people to be happy

 
Unlike most organisations that hire trainers to fulfil a “tick the box” exercise, these clients culled all other training to make way for budgets and give their people life skills beyond work.
 
This to me was what leadership was about. Giving people skills to do the job then having them perform. I saw too many organisations do the exact opposite.
 
Once their Emotional & Spiritual Intelligences had sparked, they became unstoppable. My question is wouldn’t every organization want that?
 

• Coach, lead, relate, communicate
• Step into personal power driven by intuition

 
The action of leading a group of people or an organisation.” That's how the Oxford Dictionary defines leadership. In simple words, leadership is about taking risks and challenging the status quo. Leaders motivate others to achieve something new and better.

My journey to the field of NLP training took many years of learning from the school of hard knocks. I was a banker for 13 years, then migrated into the IT and HR industries.

Many cerebral people I know focus on so-called “smart” people, those who are able to whip out statistics, shedding light on situations. Move the conversation beyond to relationships and they are lost.
 
Yet for the last twenty plus years of consulting and facilitating, I have found the most successful leaders have amazing communication skills, way beyond their IQ sense of logic, facts and figures.
 
It represents the focus that families have when bringing up their children. Those who stress an all-rounded life from young become the winners, for they populate young minds with all parts of the child’s neurology, allowing for access to creativity and lateral thinking.
 
I grew up in the latter-type family and I have my father to thank. While he was a strict disciplinarian (one look from him meant a lot), we also had fantastic holidays as soon as school closed.
 
There was fun and laughter, worthy conversations and an openness to relationships. I recall a discussion about divorce that a close friend was going through. My father said it could happen to anyone for who knows what circumstances are hurled at you. No judgment just compassion is what people needed.
 
These I know today are words of wisdom. Having empathy and building a connection with others, serves to build and maintain healthy relationships. This becomes the foundation for success in all areas of life.
 
As an NLP Trainer today, I assist individuals and organisations to harness their strength towards making better decisions. First step is to always learn how to build rapport then foster effective communication by resolving conflict and promoting mutual understanding.
 
These skills allow for collaboration within families, departments and pull together to reinforce successful outcomes. I see competitive mindsets that scream “Me, myself, I” in many instances. This does not augur well for results as a whole.
 
NLP helps individuals understand communication styles which begins the journey of understanding the psychology of how people tick. People who learn this have an upper hand in negotiating results that they want.
 
Wouldn’t it be useful if you had this?

If there is one thing I have observed over the two decades of working with people to improve their effectiveness at work, it is that every single one of them (however senior) aspired to build self-confidence at work.

As Sandy moved along with her coaching business she realised the importance of collating data. From age, gender, marital status to career and many other dimensions that she felt would give her deeper insights into trends.

Specialising in helping people in relationships break through mental blocks, she began to notice valuable gender-related data that was beginning to show trends. She felt these patterns of behaviour would help her accelerate coaching results.

This was the birth of Rapid Success Coaching! Sandy began to garner her intuition and data mined trends. Men who signed up for coaching were few and far between. They usually turned up when their relationships were at the end of their tether. Much like her client Richard whose wife left and said she would never return unless he saw a coach.

On arrival to her practice that first day, Sandy observed his physiology which was hunched. He did not make much eye contact. She felt he was like fish out of water. This would not have been his preference if he had a choice.

The coaching room was set up deliberately to calm and relax clients. Soft hues of fabric draped the sofa and pastel-coloured cushions softened the space. It was indeed amazing to see Richard’s level of comfort escalate in a mere session.
​

It wasn’t what he thought it would be. Sandy explained that she would not be giving him any advice, rather leave him to make his own choices once she had worked through processes with him.
She used language that he liked and resonated with. As an engineer his lack of communication was merely a resultant of low understanding in the field of how the mind worked. Most of his thoughts were based on therapy in the past that he had seen family and friends succumb to.

He did admit to Sandy in their first session that he was less expressive than his wife. She shared her feelings readily with him but even though he felt things, he found it hard to verbalise. He preferred to just think that the negative feelings would go away but they didn’t.

Sandy immediately set up their next session to clear the anger and rage that stemmed from Richard’s past. It had resided in him for long enough and was choking his ability to express. After all,  the mind and body were connected.

Every thought became a feeling that impacted the body in a negative way. Like a clogged drain, that eventually blocks a pipe. For now it was just his throat that was blocked but over time if this continued, it could be the very cause of a heart attack.

Richard listened with great intent. His annual health markers were starting to show up on the decline. Sandy was already hitting a nerve. As Sandy continued to calibrate all the issues Richard wanted to address during these sessions, she also noted that men had a strong ego that stemmed from competitiveness.

This merely occurred because men found it hard to empathise. She had a process for that too. Sandy made a note to do that in another session. This would give Richard the bandwidth of emotions every human being is entitled to.

Having a choice to operate from trust to control or empathy to authoritarianism, these were lovely options to have. In fact just thinking about it gave Richard a feeling of freedom as the band of emotions had widened. Sandy did explain that this would be a phenomenal result that many people in his circle of influence would notice and to be prepared for it.

What a change that would make? To be complimented rather than put down. He had a reputation for blowing his handle at small things at work and of course this spilled over in his relationship.

A big plus of Rapid Success Coaching is that Richard was being guided to his intuition, something that many men were trained not to do. The training he received as an engineer was to ensure that things had to make sense. Decisions from the head were king.

Sometimes though heart decisions while not linear were right. Attracting exponential results they were the best decisions. It was a matter of trusting self and learn how to do this artfully. A total departure from how he operated today.

He felt elated. He had found Sandy who was process-driven. She understood context and stayed out of his content, the privacy of his life. Needless to say Richard transformed himself in a matter of five coaching sessions.
​
Having cleared his past he decided to sign up for an online Zoom course that focused on the future – Create Your Future Now. It was time to design a future that he loved and that included his spouse.

His relationship was skidding down a slippery slope but he caught it in the nick of time and was now skiing to success. O what a feeling!


Sylvia Fernandes is the Founder & CEO of VIA Frontiers. She is a Master Trainer of NLP who is specialised in corporate applications.
She started her business in Sydney in 2002 and has been operating in the Asia Pacific Region ever since. She is currently based in Singapore.
She is also the author of Bye Bye Black Cat -- Turn Your Luck Around and Realise Opportunities. Visit VIA Frontiers for more information.

The benefits of using NLP techniques are far reaching, bearing in mind there are more than a hundred processes that cater to a wide range of issues. In this article, I’d like to touch on how we are continuously changing maps in our minds and using language patterns that impact our performance. This, so you understand how we use NLP for better results. 

​