Does EQ Close The Gap to Creating Effective People

John had worked for one organization all his life. Relationships with colleagues went back a long way. He moved up the corporate ladder progressively but it was tough going.
He had come from a family where his father was not exactly endearing to his mother. Siblings didn’t get along well either. Conflict resolution was difficult as most of the time insults, blame and reasons why something didn’t happen the way it should have, were flung at each other. For John this was norm. He didn’t think anything of it.

John had worked for one organization all his life. Relationships with colleagues went back a long way. He moved up the corporate ladder progressively but it was tough going.
He had come from a family where his father was not exactly endearing to his mother. Siblings didn’t get along well either. Conflict resolution was difficult as most of the time insults, blame and reasons why something didn’t happen the way it should have, were flung at each other. For John this was norm. He didn’t think anything of it.
He was intellectually smart. As a person who loved structure, John could organise well and meet deadlines. He knew how to manage time but a big part of the burden he carried was managing people. Women in the team didn’t take to him. Men were ok but they too found him abrasive.
At his Performance Review his relationship skills were highlighted. Bit by bit the veil lifted. He had a problem with his level of emotional intelligence. He had learnt bad behaviours from his father. He didn’t have tools to relate to people well. After all he had learnt from someone who didn’t either. He was propagating his father’s behaviour patterns. Habits like raising his voice when he didn’t get his way were beginning to show themselves. John knew he had to do something about this.
He had overlooked the human aspect in pursuit of goals. So he set out on his way to find a course that could help him. That was the start of his self-discovery journey. There were so many courses and modalities to choose from. How could he a novice know what to pick? He made many calls to a variety of training companies to understand more about what was on offer.
He knew that his lack of emotional intelligence emanated from his dad. He had taken on his behaviour patterns unconsciously without realising. What else he wondered would come to the fore? He liked the sound of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) as it worked with a human being’s unconscious mind which he knew nothing about.
He signed up to this accelerated learning course “Create Your Future Now” which was meant to clear past negative emotions and patterns. Once there was nothing to hold the person back the course would move on to creating a new future. He was going to learn how to manifest whatever he wanted. It sounded pretty exciting.
The best part was that year end was approaching. The tools he learnt would augur well for the impending year. It was perfect timing to do a course like this. Fast forwarding eight weeks later to after the course. He could not believe how quickly he had come to awareness of his inability to understand the other person’s perspective.
In the course of learning one process he totally got it. No wonder NLP was hailed as an accelerated tool for success. He didn’t have to explain content – why he did a behaviour or what the situation was about. He just understood the context of how one party related to another, followed guided processes and had eureka moments all the way.
John learnt how to build rapport whether he liked a person or not. He now knew how to manage and resolve conflict. He could see how he shoved things down his team’s throats without understanding their values. He could have assigned jobs based on this.
There were so many beliefs that he held that did not hold true anymore. He owed his team an apology. In fact many apologies! They would understand once they experienced his behaviour change. He was actually elated at finding tools that would help him with the way forward.
This was actually beneficial for everyone in the organization. He had to speak to Trevor his friend and HR Director about initiating a culture change project in the organisation. It would augur well for performance in the long run and help re-balance mental health too which was a big worry for management.
John never looked back. Not surprisingly, he was promoted to COO within a short timeframe. He had all the skills needed for the job except the people skills which had hindered him thus far. They were fundamental to being in a “C” level position where he would be responsible for creating effective people. He felt confident now more than ever. It was time to blitz performance and enjoy what he had so loathed in the past.
What one course could do for his career progression and life in such a short time was amazing. He was ready to make it happen! EQ was the missing piece in his puzzle and he had found it.