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The Language of Influence: Power Lies in Ambiguity

26/1/2024

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​Influential people achieve outcomes more easily than others. One aspect of their success is the language they weave deliberately through the minds of their audience.
 
It is an easy-to-learn part of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and you will be surprised to know that our daily language comprises many influential language patterns that breed success when used in a specific way.
 
The Source of Influential Language Patterns
 
Our choice of words have a far greater impact on outcomes than we realise.  Co-founders of NLP, Dr. Richard Bandler and Dr. John Grinder, modelled Dr. Milton Erickson, one of the world’s greatest hypnotherapists of the 20th century. 
 
Bandler and Grinder observed that Milton had great success with his clients in his coaching practice, when he used specific language patterns with them.  This style of language allowed listeners’ unconscious minds to access their deep, inner resources. 
 
When language used during therapy is purposely vague, the listener created his or her own interpretation and meaning. 
 
The Benefits of Knowing Language Patterns
 
Knowing these patterns enables you to become more effective at putting ideas across and changing people’s minds, in a way that respects their values.
 
A parent having difficulty influencing a child to sleep would use a double-bind pattern where the child is given two choices you might want to go to bed at 7 or 8. Either way they will go to bed.
 
Leaders on the other hand use language patterns that are highly ambiguous for example, we will all enjoy the transformation that is ahead of us.
 
Leaving a message ambiguous gives the listener an opportunity to derive their own meanings. This builds rapport with an audience, as everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of how they will enjoy the transformation. This is inclusive rather than exclusive language.
 
Knowing these language patterns and using them to our advantage in daily life is mesmerising. Results spike from heightened motivation and deeper rapport.
 
It is indeed the difference that makes the difference!
  
Learning to use language patterns intentionally is about influencing others and communicating effectively, to open up choices and possibilities.  It’s about achieving mutual outcomes for all parties involved.  
  
Imagine how easily you could influence others if you knew exactly how to use appropriate language patterns?   And how liberating it would be to understand your experience better by becoming more alert to your senses?
 
I am sure you see it by now. There is wide scope to benefit from using NLP techniques.    
 
 
 
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    SYLVIA FERNANDES

    Sylvia is a qualified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Trainer. She started her business in Sydney and is now based in Singapore.

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