How Can I Solve Life Problems with NLP?
Most of my blogs are focused on NLP’s cutting edge impact in the corporate sector. In this blog I’d like to share how the benefits of NLP have the prospect of transforming personal lives too.
NLP is very practical. It focuses on the ‘how’ of a problem rather than the ‘why’. Most modalities keep you stuck in a never ending loop of ‘why, why, why’. This doesn’t get you anywhere.
Asking “why” gets personal as it points a finger at the person being asked. So the receiver gets defensive. Asking ‘how’ leads to a process answer which offers a solution. This is why when we solve problems with NLP we do so quickly and efficiently.
An NLP program helps in the following ways:
What is NLP?
It is an epistemology – a model of how we know what we know. Co-founded by a Professor of Linguistics, Dr. John Grinder and a computer scientist, Richard Bandler in the late 70’s, Neuro-Linguistic Programming is based on psychotherapy.
NLP consists of more than a hundred processes, each geared towards a specific type of problem. So whether it is resolving conflict, deepening rapport with people, managing a state of mind to be more positive or understanding how values are the deepest motivator, an NLP program is worth every cent you spend.
Here are four ways to Solve Problems With NLP
1. Content Reframing
This is a very efficient technique when you feel helpless about a problem. Reframing will empower you by changing the meaning of any negative experience, into something useful.
It’s natural to panic or be fearful when you’re faced with big problems. But this just magnifies the problem in your head. It’s more efficient to solve problems with NLP by shifting focus. It helps to clear your head and make sensible decisions.
For example, if you break up with your partner. You feel like it’s the end of the world. Let’s reframe it by looking at it from a different angle. What are the possible benefits of being single?
NLP training teaches you how to see a different meaning to a problem, one you probably never saw before. This ultimately leads to a more positive experience of the situation.
The world revolves around relationships. Communication, or should I say the lack of it, is the root cause of most problems in human interactions.
Wouldn’t it be great to learn how to resolve conflicts faster and have better relationships? People who attend an NLP training often report that they see a significant improvement in their relationships across the board.
The feeling of being on the same wavelength with someone, is called rapport. When you’re in rapport with family, co-workers and friends there is mutual understanding, trust and empathy. Communication is made easy.
Understanding another’s position and having empathy enables you to see other people’s perspectives. Participants in my NLP program never fail to be amazed by the immediate shift they experience during this process.
You can solve problems with NLP by learning how to read non-verbal communication cues, eye movement patterns and other unconscious actions to see if you’re in rapport with someone.
NLP techniques can help you get along with virtually anyone by building deep rapport with them.
3. Manage Your Emotions
An NLP program will set you up for life. It will teach you one of the most powerful tools, i.e. how to be well-versed with managing your emotional state. And being knowledgeable about how other peoples’ emotions work.
For example, when you are faced with an angry spouse and you fly off the handle, the situation will surely go downhill. The intelligent alternative is to acknowledge his or her emotion and then respond with empathy.
Anger is just an expression of some other issue - fear, misperceived injustice or lack of rapport. So before you react, step into their world, understand where they are coming from and then respond.
When you respect your spouse’s world, which is probably different to yours, you can significantly reduce conflicts. So you see, the benefits of NLP are endless as they can be applied to any area of life.
4. Listen Actively
Active listening is an invaluable skill in any situation, be it professional or personal. It helps establish rapport, know what the other person needs and build stronger relationships. The benefits of NLP can be transformative in your family life.
For example, dealing with children, especially teenagers, can be challenging. As they go through a phase of tremendous change, physically and emotionally, it’s crucial to give them the time and space to vent their frustration, disappointment or unhappiness.
Children want to be heard. They need a safe outlet to freely express their feelings. It’s important not to interrupt them. Or worse, listen with the intention of rebutting what they’re saying.
Nod at appropriate moments to indicate you understand what they’re saying. This gives them the assurance that you’re listening. And finally, ask context questions to clarify anything you don’t understand after they have fully explained a problem.
Summing up, every one of us faces problems now and then. It’s part and parcel of life. But we have choices too. We can learn how to solve problems faster and more efficiently. One way of doing so is to solve problems with NLP.
You can go a step further and even learn to prevent a lot of problems. For example, many problems can be prevented by clearer communication with the people in your life. Learning to navigate the minefield of human interaction will certainly make life smoother all around. This is one of the major benefits of NLP.
Signing up for an NLP program is a life changing experience. Why remain stuck in your problems, struggle with building rapport and managing your emotions, when you can take charge with an NLP training that sets you apart from the rest?
When you are able to answer the question “what is NLP” you have truly found the answer to making life a joy to live!
Sylvia Fernandes is the Founder & CEO of VIA Frontiers. She is a Master Trainer of NLP who is specialised in corporate applications. She started her business in Sydney in 2002 and has been operating in the Asia Pacific Region ever since. She is currently based in Singapore. She is also the author of Bye Bye Black Cat -- Turn Your Luck Around and Realise Opportunities. Visit VIA Frontiers for more information.