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Ways To Stop Being Negative

20/11/2020

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How To Stop Being Negative


There are many ways to stop being negative and these comprise conscious, actionable steps plus re-organising your unconscious mind which is the source. 

In this article I would like to focus on the latter as this is where my expertise lies. As a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer, I use timeline therapy to help people eradicate negative emotions that have been installed from past experience.
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Most lay people are unaware that negative emotions reside in their unconscious mind (UCM). This is the domain of habits, patterns of behaviour and emotions. When these are installed between the age of zero and twelve years old, the child is totally unaware that this has happened. 

As years go by, behaviours exhibit themselves. For instance a person who needs help with anger management problems, may look for ways to stop being negative by reading articles and verbalising their problem to friends.

This will not help one bit in eradicating negative emotions. You may wonder why? The answer is that these patterns that are in your UCM require a deeper intervention called timeline therapy.

While most people fear visiting a therapist or coach, this process is likened to a guided meditation. Enjoyable and easy to do. It has such strong potential to eradicate negative emotions like anger, sadness, fear and guilt in a swipe.
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Clients who are very clear about their past experience, and more specifically about when the negative emotion was installed, sometimes walk away after one session feeling light and free. 

As an NLP Trainer and Coach, all I need to know is the age when a client first installed this anger, for instance. My interaction over the last 18 years with clients, has had me work with some who even recalled events as far back as when they were in their mother’s womb.
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This maybe astounding to many. For me, I take it as a client who has been plagued with anger for long enough, to know that their level of clarity is high. They come to coaching, so ready to eradicate negative emotions immediately. 

In these instances, the client is able to go back to a past experience very quickly as part of the timeline therapy process and sort out their anger management issues efficiently.

​So many clients have eradicated negative emotions and wondered why they hung on to past experience for so long. Most often, it is just that they were unaware that that there are ways to stop being negative using NLP specifically. 

Girl who learn how to stop being negative

I had a client who had massive anger management problems. Every aspect of his life was a mess. He never realised how bad it was until a situation blew over and he lost his job. It was the culmination of a series of incidents that could not be ignored any longer.

He ended up in a heap. Alone. Unhappy. Lost. His life stopped. No more distractions. Just silence. He had to confront himself. Look in the mirror and understand that the common denominator in all those anger situations, was him. 

Lucky for him, he knew a client of mine who introduced him to me. We did a few coaching sessions which went off brilliantly. So what do I need to make these sessions short and effective?

Firstly, when a client has reached their threshold, a “I’ve had enough” state, they’re ready to face up and let go. At the opposite end of the spectrum lie people who hang on to their ego and are in a “It’s not me” state. The efficiency of a session is high in the former case. The client saves money on less sessions while the coach feels elated at witnessing the speedy client transformation. 

Secondly, when a client knows where the anger resides in his past experience, sessions go faster. Not having to spend time flushing out the negative emotion, just means the coach is able to do timeline therapy much faster.

If clients come in with this information (which by the way does not need to be communicated to the coach) it saves a lot of time in the session. As an NLP trainer and coach, I work with context of a past experience, not content. 

By this I mean that the client would never have to divulge the past experience to me, especially if it is a private matter. More often than not, NLP coaches prefer to work outside content as we don’t feed the “he said, she said” approach, which is a time waster.

As long as a client has identified the negative emotion to be eradicated and the age that it first happened, we can start timeline therapy and go back to past experience efficiently.
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Thirdly, if a client is a meditator or has some experience in visualising, this helps. Timeline therapy is a visual exercise so the more practice with visualisation, the faster we go through the process. 

Every single client I have had in the past 18 years, has been able to do timeline therapy. The ones who said they were not as visual just took slightly longer to get the hang of it. Once in that momentum, it’s like doors that have opened. All you need to do is walk through them.

So if you have anger management issues or you suffer guilt, anxiety or sadness, look no further for ways to stop being negative. This article was written for you. The fastest way to eradicate negative emotions is the genius model that was created in NLP called timeline therapy.
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Most clients who have experienced it found it easy to do and totally love it. The best part is they have it in their toolbox now, to use for the rest of their lives, if ever they should need it. 
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    SYLVIA FERNANDES

    Sylvia is a qualified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Trainer. She started her business in Sydney and is now based in Singapore.

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